Tuesday, November 22, 2011

The NFL cares, FIFA doesn’t: Rex Ryan facing hefty fine while FIFA basically ignores rampant racism in its sport


Interesting incidents across two diverse sports this week. In the NFL, noted fat-mouth Rex Ryan verbally abused a fan at a game with a torrent of expletives that would have made Chuck Norris blush. Meanwhile, FIFA basically slapped the Bulgarian football federations hands after their fans were found guilty of racially abusing several English players during September's Euro 2012 qualifier in Sofia.

Really fascinating to see how the two sports have handled their issues. One, professionally and sternly, the other, well, basically they haven’t handled it at all. No prizes for guessing which is which.

The NFL is going to announce the actual fine today however Sexy Rexy is expected to be going to be $100,000 lighter in his wallet region after they are done with him. This is after he used ‘profane language’ in a split second reaction to a fan at last Sunday night's game against the New England Patriots. This comes hot on the heels after the Jets fined Ryan when he made an obscene gesture to fans at a mixed martial arts event in Miami during Super Bowl week in 2010 ($50,000 that time).

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So, let’s get this totally straight in our heads before we move on to the wonderful world of FIFA. The New York Jets head coach is going to be $150,000 worse off by the end of this week for two relatively minor incidents. The message? The NFL and its franchises will not tolerate any kind of tarnish to their glossy coats.

Now, on to FIFA.

During the afore mentioned match, Bulgarian ‘fans’ showered English players with racist chants, targeting England’s black players with bananas, monkey chants and also, somewhat bizarrely, the Nazi salute (is Hitler big in Bulgaria?!).

You stay classy, Bulgaria!

Imagine for a second that happening during the Chiefs v Patriots encounter tonight in New England. Just imagine for one second a section of Kansas fans showering a player or players on the Patriots sidelines with racist chants, bananas and the Nazi salute. I mean, can you imagine the reaction? There is no doubt in my mind the ramifications would be enormous. They are pepper spraying and ‘tazing’ peaceful protesters in the streets, so one would imagine the riot police would have a field day in this imaginary incidence.

Back to FIFA. With the above in mind, FIFA’s reaction to the disgusting behaviour of those Bulgarian fans? They fined the Bulgarian Football Union £34,250.

I suppose you have to pick your jaw up off the floor and remember, this is the same organization that basically ignored the incredible riot performed by Serbian fans earlier this year. This is the organization whose head (The second most corrupt man in the world, Sepp Blatter, losing out narrowly to Vladimir ‘The money was just resting in my account’ Putin) thinks racism on the pitch is not an issue and can be settled with a handshake.

FIFA is absolutely littered with situations where issues stinking of racism have been basically kicked under the carpet. In 2004 the former Spanish international team manager, the despicable Luis Aragonés, called Thierry Henry a ‘’black shit’’. FIFA fined him £2,060. In 2004 FIFA fined Spain (Yes, Spain, again) £44,750 after Spanish fans racially abused English players during a game in Madrid. In 2007 the Serbian Football Federation was fined £16,500 by Uefa (FIFA’s European arm) for "the racist chanting of supporters and the improper conduct of their players" during an under-21 match against England. In 2008 Croatia were fined £10,000 for "displaying a racist banner and showing racist conduct" during their country's Euro 2008 quarter-final against Turkey. In 2008 FIFA again docked Croatia some cash, this time £15,000 after England's Emile Heskey was subjected to racial abuse by home fans during the 4-1 victory in a qualifier for the 2010 World Cup against Croatia in Zagreb.

Add those fines up, all leveled against serious instances of racial abuse (far worse in this columns book than an expletive or two) and you get £88,310. That equates to $136,000.

You can probably see where we are going with this.

Seven long years of horrific racially charged incidents have led FIFA to fine the protagonists $136,000. Two quick outbursts of profanity from Rex Ryan and the NFL has fined him $150,000.

I guess we can see which sport is professional, stern, and determined to do things the right way. And which sport is presided over by FIFA.

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Monday, November 14, 2011

About last night: Thoughts on Patriots 37 Jets 16


Has Rex Ryan released any bombastic announcements as yet today? His Jets still going to win the Superbowl? (Is there a greater boy-who-cried-wolf in NFL history, ‘’We’re going to win the Superbowl!’’ – sure Rex, sure)

Some aspects of last night’s encounter between the Patriots and the Jets in the Meadowlands stood out.

Act like you have been here before
Commentator Chris Collinsworth made a very revealing comment about his view from the training grounds of both squads. Having visited both mid week, Chris noted that the Jets were running very up-tempo practices. There was a lot of high energy chest-thumping and a lot of focus on the Patriots. He noted on the flip side that at the Patriots training sessions, you couldn’t tell if they had won or lost the week before. It was just business as usual.

Communication is the name of the game
Did you see how active and communicative the Patriots ‘D’ was? Vince Wilfork was extremely vocal and led by example, as always. It seemed like everyone knew exactly where they had to be. A backfield of relatively no-name players played fantastic coverage all night, a direct result of super communication between team-mates.



Bully me? I’ll bully you!
The Jets love to ‘throw shapes’, they love their swagger, trash talking and posturing. More often than not, when push comes to shove, they melt into air. In the third quarter Brady misfired on a short ‘out’ to Aaron Hernandez. The Jets DB on the play (Wilson?) took a cheap shot at the big New England TE, right in front of the side judge. The reason no flag was thrown was that the Jets DB bounced right back off Hernandez, the latter turning to him, and shouting niceties at him, as the Jets DB quickly cowered back to his mates. The Patriots were bigger, meaner and stronger on the night, they just didn’t shout about it as much.

Brady the party planner
Brady was at his organizational best last night, constantly tweaking his troops into position to make the right plays. His fourth quarter no-huddle work was nothing short of sensational, however all night long he was constantly managing the game, motioning WRs into position, shouting out coverages to his offensive line. Brady must have been absolutely exhausted both mentally and physically after this one.

Lay off Sanchez
Say what you want about Jets QB Mark Sanchez, and no doubt plenty of people will, he did not come up with that decrepit game plan. The Jets are not a passing team. They know it, we know it, everybody knows it. However, they almost completely gave up on the run last night, slinging the ball around like a college spread offence. They did not look themselves. Blame Mark Sanchez if you like, however I point the finger at the Jets coaching staff, once more over-thinking themselves out of a big game.

Game changers
The game hinged on two key fumbles. One that didn’t happen and one that did. How often do you see a QB go up against several defensive linemen and come out with the ball (and, physically intact)? The mis-snap between center and Brady early in the game at the Patriots line could have been devastating. Brady dove down and amazingly came out of the pile with the rock. Absolutely unbelievable play. Then, with the game completely balanced and at a point where it could have gone either way, the Patriots special teams came up with that massive fumble recovery off a Patriots punt. From that point on it was all Patriots.




Act like you have been here before II
Patriots defensive lineman Andre Carter was nothing short of sensational last night, with four thunderous solo sacks. Fascinatingly, on the last two, with the Jets driving and desperately trying to claw back into the game, Carter sacked Sanchez, stood up, and jogged back into position. Ray Lewis would still be celebrating those final two sacks. Carter led by example and put his team ahead of personal celebration. I wonder did the Jets learn anything from that?




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Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Penn State affair: Massive failure all round, while ESPN still throws bouquets at Paterno


I am sorry, but let's just come out and ask it, why are the biggest sporting websites still talking about Joe Paterno in terms of adoration? Weeks after the allegations have sprung that Paterno and others turned a blind eye to a Penn State coach abusing young boys, hours after calls for Peterno's head started, ESPN amongst others are publishing soft-focus, slush pieces on the Penn State head-coach. Check out this rubbish from ESPN. You can almost hear the PGA Tour soft-core porn music humming in the background as you read the below.

''The love was evident as several hundred students crowded around Paterno's house - The 84-year-old coach looked happier than any senior citizen ever to have kids trample his lawn. He exited the passenger side of a white university van to thank the students in his driveway. A few minutes after that, he opened his front window to say a few more words as the crowd surged forward to hear him. And just when everybody was about to disperse some 30 minutes later, a grinning Paterno walked out the front door to address the students one more time.''

What? Seriously? Are we talking about the same guy here? Is this grinning, lovable old man the same guy who was Jerry Sandusky's boss in 1998 when that year, the Penn State police department conducted investigations of allegations that Sandusky had hugged, rubbed against and inappropriately touched two 11-year-old boys while they were naked with him in the Penn State locker room? During same investigations, and with police listening in, the mother of one of the boys called Sandusky to confront him. According to the grand jury report, Sandusky told her:

“I understand. I was wrong. I wish I could get forgiveness. I know I won’t get it from you. I wish I were dead.”

For whatever bizarre reason he got away with it, but that moment was Paterno's chance to get a clearly deranged man out of dealing with his kids. His kids. How does Paterno let this evil creature stay employed after that?

Back to the ESPN sludge from above, is that fuzzy piece of nostalgic vomit talking about the same Paterno that in 2002 completely ignored strong evidence that a young boy was raped by this evil scum-bag Sandusky in the locker room?

Just checking, you know, if we are all talking about the same Paterno that ESPN is still jamming a halo over.

These people at the high ranks of College and High School Football have a simple remit. Take care of young adults and children. Look after their safety, educate them and take care of their well being. Nothing else matters. Money doesn't matter, BCS ranking do not matter, Boosters do not matter, recruiting profile does not matter, absolutely nothing else matters. Or nothing else should matter.

Everyone involved in the NCAA Football program at Penn State should step down immediately, including the lovable' Joe Paterno, for they have failed at the most simple of tasks. Look after the kids.

The moment they decided they had 'done enough' back in 1998, they failed at their simple job. This was then exacerbated in 2002, when they yet again turned a blind eye and failed epically at their essential yet simple remit. It is worrying that Paterno hasn't already stepped aside. There is little doubt that evidence shows he is a decent, philanthropic and intelligent man. However, his later years will no doubt be wracked with the guilt of realising his gut wrenching mistake in not blowing this disgusting scandal up the moment he got wind of it.

The fact of the matter is, he will only have himself to blame. The split second he got a whiff of this, he should have blown the whole thing up.

Tough material to take to the grave, and plenty of questions remain.


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Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Sporting superstar fragrances - David Beckham, LeBron and Ronaldo scents shoved down our throats

David Beckham
There is just something beautifully idiotic about the David Beckham ‘fragrance’ being rammed down our throats and up our nostrils on this gaudy home stretch to the Christmas spending season.

There is a marvelous Zoolanderesque quality to the advertising material delivered to us via different mediums. You could imagine Beckham gazing into the camera with that clumsy handsomeness of his, whispering ‘Beckham, it smells good. Like myself. Because I use it’.


Of course, Beckham isn’t the only sporting superstar to bring out his own fragrance. Let us not forget the following stars and their essence! All perfect stocking fillers.

‘$’ by LeBron

An unexpected delight! ‘$’ smells like a rolled up bundle of dollar bills, ya’ll. Subtle and carefully crafted to balance the scent of craving for cash and the sweat dripping off greedy palms. The opening notes include layers of the faint whiff of 10, 50 and 100 dollar bills. Wow, what a treat!

''mMmmm my hands, and my enormous wealth, smell good''

‘Premature’ by Tebow

New on the market, this stylishly presented fragrance comes in a mini statue of Jesus, with the scent emanating from the mouth of the statue when depressed. The smell reminds the user of that damp, stale odor of church seats, sore knees, remorse and guilt. Best worn too soon.

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Did they leave out the ''...in 2013'' bit?

‘Wookie’ by Hope Solo

A dry Sandalwood Spice blend. This sultry and rich complex fragrance opens with a heady and exotic profusion of the Forest Moons of Endor. Unique packaging with several refill bottles in a bandolier style worn over the shoulder across the body. For women who wear size 12 shoes worldwide.

‘Greasy’ by Ronaldo

‘Greasy’ is a very unique fragrance. Provocative, sensual, and very pleasing to both men and women. Often more so to men. ‘Greasy’ has a musk, sandalwood, and amber type fragrance that is very well balanced ,it somewhat reminds you of the classic men's type cologne from Royal Copenhagen. Or the men’s toilet in the back of The George after a long Friday night’s ‘partying’. ‘Greasy’ is confused, sexual and spunky!

‘Sexy!’ by Kobe

Oh, yes, this is it! A custom blend, it’s one of the sexiest fragrances on the market. Bottom notes of White Carnation and blood orange are the perfect foil for the heart notes, comprised of a sneering, aggressive and angry scents, with just a touch of pay-off. Doubles as a powerful mace alternative.

‘Swing and a miss’ by A-Rod
A unique fragrance in that it is actually inserted into the body, secreting its odor out after insertion. The beginners pack comes with its own needle and directions how to find the meaty part of your ass. A musty scent, guaranteed to go completely stale when your heart beat increases. Wearing ‘Swing and a miss’ describes you as a man who does very little when it matters most.


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Monday, October 24, 2011

Beer me - MLB announce they are going to look into Red Sox club-house drinking


Well thank God for that. MLB has finally announced an official investigation into the dramatic revelations that certain Boston Red Sox players were drinking actual alcohol in the clubhouse during the 2011 season. Thank goodness, we can all sleep just that tiny bit better at night. Put down the hot-line to the president, call off the dogs, MLB has this all under control.

Joe Torre, beefy, dreamy head of the little known, semi secret MLB office of International Intrigue, Espionage and Dramatic Story-Lines had this to say on the subject:

“It’s something we’re concerned about, just to make sure that we get all the facts and that’s my area, I know I have plans just to talk to some people.’’
So Joe Torre’s ‘area’ is to get all the facts on grown men drinking alcoholic beverages in a closed clubhouse in the late innings of games they aren’t playing in? One can only hope that Torre is amply supplied with assistants, business jets, iPads, Blackberries and other gadgets, as he fights the good fight, keeping us safe from drinking adults. We can only assume it is a tough task, you can picture Torre sitting in his war-room/bat-cave, hunkered down over multiple screens reviewing thousands upon thousands of hours of footage of Red Sox games, trying to catch a glimpse of a Red Sox pitcher, sitting on the bench with their hood up vagrant style, sipping from a bottle of Peach Schnapps wrapped in a paper bag.



Imagine the moment of pure professional joy, nay, release, as Torre finds that one glimpse, that one frame where Beckett or whoever gets caught sitting there in the dugout, huddled behind the hulking frame of John lackey, drinking from a bottle of whatever alcohol took his fancy that day. Torre would no doubt reach for the red phone to his left, a hot-line, if you will, and while never taking his eyes from the dramatic evidence on screen, whisper Batman like into the phone, ‘We’ve got them!’ or some other glib, momentary, asinine George Bush like catch phrase.

Torre goes on to enlighten us that:

“If we do happen to bar alcohol from the clubhouses, you have to understand the intent of this thing and what it looks like,’’
Naturally Torre is spot on. We all have to understand this thing, this, phenomenon. The fat guy in the sleeveless Metallica t-shirt sitting at a Marlins game, drunk off his head on fifteen cups of Coors Lite really, really cares, from a special place deep down inside his heart, whether Clay Bucholz or Jon Lester had a quiet beer in the Red Sox clubhouse way back whenever.



The overlord man at the helm that Torre reports into, Bud Selig, is also following this as close as white on rice.
“You never like to hear that. I’m very image-conscious about the sport and that’s a great, proud franchise. I’m sorry for those stories because they’re not helpful. But I also have great confidence that the Red Sox will get this cleaned up quickly.’’

No word so from Das Fuhrer as to whether the other eleven teams that allow alcohol in the clubhouse will be cleaning up their act too. Perhaps that will come in a future communiqué

The Boston Globe ran a fancy little picture a few weeks ago of the clubs that allow drinking in the clubhouse and those that, you know, don't. Let's re-post it as an aid to Bud Selig in his crusade to eliminate alcohol from ballparks, well, not from ballparks, but from non paying customers in ballparks.

Everyone else can continue to get sloshed to their hearts content





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Monday, October 10, 2011

The black sporting weekend - Ireland knocked out of the Rugby World Cup and fail to impress against Andorra

And so it came to pass. A weekend infused with such sporting promise from the perspective of Irish eyes, crashes to the ground in ruins like the proverbial house of cards. Irish Sporting fans with a broader range of disciplines in their fandom portfolio were left clutching at straws, celebrating the Patriots beating the Jets as they clung to the wreckage of Saturdays Irish failure in New Zealand.

Leading up to those fateful events on Saturday morning Ireland had not been as energized and hopeful about a tournament since we were on the brink of the Soccer World Cup and Thierry Henry handled away our aspirations there. Perhaps the weight of the desperate hopes of a nation dragged our boys in green down, as a very brave Irish team looked admittedly tired and spent in the second half against Wales.

With the match on so early (6 am Irish time), it was still early morning as Irish rugby fans rubbed their eyes, looked out into the grey, cold, dispassionate morning light and felt that empty longing grow a bit longer. Will Ireland ever proceed to the final of a meaningful World tournament?


Meanwhile, on Friday night, a much more depressing event was taking place.

Wait, back that up a second. A more depressing event than Ireland getting knocked out of the Rugby World Cup, just two games from the finals? Well, did you watch Andorra v Ireland? For those who luckily stayed away, Ireland were playing the joint worst ranked football team in the World on Friday night, as they hope to advance to the 2012 European Championships.

It was a drab, depressing affair that Ireland ‘won’ 2-0, with two first half goals. Ireland chose to field two holding (defending) midfielders, including Glenn Whelan, who believes the best way forward is, well, backwards. Whelan’s first thought when he receives the ball is ‘safety first’ and statistically the over whelming majority of his passes travel either side to side or backwards.

On a night where they played the joint worst team in the World, Ireland employed two holding, defensive midfielders. Exactly what were they defending against? Were they defending the Irish viewing public from the possibility of being entertained?

Watching Ireland under Gio Trapattoni is a depressing, unrewarding and unenlightening affair.

Beware of chastising me to soon for the following statement, a more loyal Irish fan you will never meet. However, if Armenia, a team playing open, attacking football, beat us in Dublin tomorrow and nip us to the post of qualification, so what? Honestly, can you really say you enjoy watching this current incarnation of the Irish soccer team?

I can’t.

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Thursday, October 6, 2011

Corkman Darragh O’Neill punts his way onto Colorado University football team


Could it be possibly just 3-4 years before we see a Cork boy punting in the NFL? This may not be as crazy a thought as it seems. Colorado University turned a few heads when they announced their starting punter for the 2011 season would be Darragh O’Neill. Born in Cork, Ireland, he is the son of Colm O’Neill, owner of Boulder’s popular Irish bar-restaurant, Conor O’Neill’s. Darragh moved to the States aged three when his Father moved over for work.

He started kicking just six months before the start of the season. He took the sport up after going to watch a few Colorado games, instantly falling for what he described as ‘the buzz’ coming from the 50,000 plus crowd and the general game day atmosphere. Darragh’s strong leg comes from a background playing soccer, and he is also an accomplished basketball player too, excelling at high school level.

In the below excellent audio interview Darragh describes his path to NCAA Football. His accent is a fantastic mix of Irish American, as he appears to be just about clinging to the last remains of his Cork lilt!

Best of luck on the season to the young man



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