Ye Shiwen’s ridiculous swimming Gold medal time a little fishy, to say the least

Seriously, does China think we are really that stupid? Do they honestly think we are that completely brain-dead that they can just ram another human steroid down our throats and we won’t notice them smashing World records like they were Tibetan protests? The Olympics are off to a fine start by all accounts however China seem determined to wipe the shine off the five famous rings, and has apparently learnt nothing from being caught doping on several occasions recently.

In 2009 five junior Chinese swimmers were banned after testing positive for the anabolic agent clenbuterol at the 2008 national junior championships. In 1994 China ‘dominated’ the Rome world championships, when its drug-riddled women ‘won’ 13 of the 16 available golds, and were subsequently banned by all World swimming federations.

Basically, China has priors.

Well, apparently they think we aren’t watching or perhaps they think we have the memory retention of your average goldfish, as they are clearly at it again. Chinese ‘swimmer’  Ye Shiwen won the 400m IM gold in a world record time of 4min 28.43sec with a final 50m where she was quicker than none other than Ryan Lochte, who himself won the men's 400m IM in the second-fastest time in history.

Let’s spell that out for all and sundry.

China thinks we are going to believe that a 16 year old called Ye Shiwen won the 400m fair and square in a time that bested Ryan Lochte’s, which in turn was the second fastest time in history.

The Chinese girl clocked 28.93secs for the last 50m compared to the 27 year-olds 29.10secs while she also nearly beat his time for the last 100m at 58.68secs compared to 58.65secs when he raced just minutes earlier. Her ridiculous last two lengths would have also beaten Michael Phelps, before Lochte, the fastest man in that event.

In case you think this is an isolated incident, China won more gold medals in the pool on the first day than it did during the entire Olympics in Beijing four years ago.

Thankfully the worlds various swimming organisations have all expressed serious reservations about this insane ‘achievement’ and will be monitoring the test results of the Chinese teams steroid checks. The swimming bodies can hold on to those results for 8 years, and they believe that any masking agents or other chemicals will eventually be figured out, allowing them to find anything hidden deep in the molecular breakdown of the results.

Then, we will know the truth, and hopefully China will be banned from competing in International swimming until they finally stop cheating.

Then, or when this 16 year old Frankenstein develops an Adams apple and a penis.

That, either.

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Texas Rangers fans who booed Josh Hamilton Friday night should go watch a different sport

Friday night in Texas the Rangers lost a ball game, 9-5 to the White Sox, a team that is ripping it up since its marquee addition of Kevin Youkilis earlier in July. The White Sox are beating all comers since they added the Greek God Of Walks.  That alone should have softened the blow of losing for Rangers fans. The same Rangers who are the highest scoring team in baseball (ahead of the Red Sox in second). The same Rangers who are 58-41 and possess the fourth best record in all of Major League Baseball.

The very same Texas Rangers who have won the last two AL pennants, and have competed in the last two World Series. Some still think they were unlucky to lose last years.

Amazingly, despite all of the above, on Friday night Josh Hamilton was roundly booed by his home fans, Texas Rangers 'fans'. Hamilton struck out in a key moment in the 5th inningand the 'boos' rained down from the Texas stands.

Those Texas fans who chose to 'Boo' their marquee player, a player who some would say is possibly the greatest player in Major League Baseball right now, should be absolutely ashamed of themselves. They are nothing short of ignorant. They are an embarassment to themselves and the state of Texas.

If people want to be negative and 'boo' their own team and players, fine, whatever. However, when you boo such a brilliant player and such a great team, you show only pure stupidity and knuckle-head tendencies.

Baseball is a game of controlled failure.

The very best of players fail 7 times out of 10. Imagine that. They fail to get a hit 7 times out of 10. It is a game of patience, where the best players succeed 30% of the time. It is a game of streaks, peaks and valleys. Hamilton has been peaking all season long, and is currently in an unavoidable valley, something that happens to all players.

The idiotic Rangers fans who booed so heavily that Texas manager Ron Washington chose to sit Hamilton Saturday to give him a mental break, are the worst kind of dim-witted, idiotic fools, who clearly know nothing about the game of baseball, and should go back to watching something easier and more simple like NASCAR.

Baseball doesn't need clowns like them.


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The LA Dodgers land prize fish Hanley Ramirez as Miami continues to unravel

You have to wonder, what on earth are the Miami Marlins doing? Stunning MLB news today as it is starting to break that the LA Dodgers have landed Hanley Ramirez and his very, very big bat in a several-player-deal that is heavily weighted in the Dodgers favour. At first glance it would appear Miami might be in the middle of a big salary (and talent) dump, the deal is that lopsided.

If you recall, the Marlins dumped every decent part of its roster after World Series wins in '97 and '03, this time round they would appear to have forgotten to win the series before dumping its roster.

The ugliest part of this is the Marlins front office is now going to attempt to sneakily assasinate Ramirez around baseball by releasing thinly veiled hints in regards club house chemistry and so on. I am not buying it, what about all those goofy pro-Marlins promos we were force fed where Ramirez horsed around with Reyes and other Marlins, apparently one big happy family? Now it suits the front office to hide behind these 'character' stories we are already starting to see on Hanley. I call bullshit. They are trying to distract us from the stink of their latest fire sale by distributing misinformation.

The big winners? Obviously the Dodgers. Get the nicknames ready, their nasty murderers row of Kemp, Ethier and Ramirez has the potential to pplay wrecking ball on opposition pitching staffs for a very long, productive and successful time. Who the hell do you pitch to amongst that trio? You could legitimately say the Dodgers are suddenly serious World Series contenders, and that's exciting for Dodger fans all over the world.

Not so much a good time to be a Marlins fan. They couldn't have timed this obvious fire sale any worse. Their gaudy new ballpark is now shorn of several key parts, not just Ramirez but also Omar Infante and Anibal Sanchez. The word on the street is they are going to dump Josh Johnson too, which leaves us all to just scratch our heads and wonder, who on earth is planning things down in Miami?

The Marlins are an absolute train wreck.

Let's finish on a positive note. The Dodgers are 10/1 to win the National League and 18/1 to win the World Series. If Ramirez slots right in and starts bashing away, those are both very good value prices, so grab 'em while you can!

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A tribute to Jessica Ghawi

The terrible shooting in Denver in the very early hours of this Friday morning still seems somewhat unreal. It is both shocking and tragic, and there are obviously and understandably going to be billions of words written about this terrible, pointless injustice.  From a news point of view, the story is going to be covered into the most minute details. On a more personal level, we are all going to have our opinions, and many of them are going to be very strong. I for one am barely able to conceal my anger at those who would even now protect this insane ‘right to bear arms’, a ‘right’ protected by a constitution written when bears and angry indigenous peoples were a real issue.

This article isn’t about any of that.

Far more experienced and superior writers are going to tackle the news and political elements of this tragedy. This is just about a girl, Jessica, who died this morning, for absolutely no reason at all, way too soon.

I was saddened to see that Jessica Ghawi, one of the confirmed twelve victims, (who writes under the name Jessica Redfield ) was an aspiring sports writer, and from what is available to read about her, a bright, shining, creative person who just loved sports and writing, and was making an innocent attempt to launch a life for herself in that realm. Somewhat prophetically Jessica had actually written about a shooting in the same mall she would eventually die in, on her blog, which you can read here.

I don’t know Jessica, but her story struck a chord in me, perhaps in the fellowship of those of us trying to gain a foothold in the world of sports writing. The people who didn’t come home alive from the movies last night all deserve their own respectful eulogies, Jessica’s story just grabbed me as particularly sad and lonely.

Perhaps it was the last few ‘Tweets’ she sent. There is something gut wrenching in the pure excitement and playfulness of her final comments, as she waited to see a movie she was looking forward to.



Perhaps it is her charming, innocent smile in her pictures available online.  Or perhaps what has me thinking about this poor girl I have never met, is the playful, creative and very funny article she wrote on her beloved hockey. In it she linked the type of guys she had been dating to NHL hockey teams.

This Denver\Colorado Avalanche analogy below, as it turns out, is particularly poignant

The Boy Next Door: Plain and simple, that is your next door neighbor. Whether you love them or hate them, you live next to them and they’re always around. That is your home team, the one that’s closest to you. That is now the Colorado Avalanche for me since I just moved to Denver and he’s my new neighbor. I haven’t quite decided what to think about him yet. He seems harmless in a cute and endearing way. I definitely see a friendship sparking between us. It may even turn into a full-blown love affair. We’ll see, I’m definitely keeping my eye on him though.

After what happened late last night in Denver, out there in the cyberspace realm of this lonely, fucked up world is a now unattended Facebook page. There are most likely a few text messages sitting in her mobile phone innocently asking how the movie was. There are probably a couple of emails from friends in her Gmail or Hotmail or whatever inbox, correspondence she meant to get to work on, and just hadn’t as yet found the time. It would appear Jessica was a pretty voracious writer in terms of volume, so no doubt there are still articles she has half-finished sitting in the ‘draft’ status, as they will do so now for eternity. Half-finished pieces of creativity from a life snuffed out before its time.

My heart goes out to all of Jessica’s family and close friends. She seems like a really terrific young lady, and amongst everything else, it is heart-breakingly tragic that none of us are ever going to know how good a sports writer she may have become.  Those ‘draft’ articles, those ideas and creative thoughts she had, will never come to fruition, and that’s horribly sad.

Hopefully some shred of her being will live on through a patchwork collection of her creative output, and hopefully that brings some small comfort to her family and loved ones.

President Obama put it better and more succinctly than most will today, "our time here is limited, and it is precious".

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Please! Enough already with the Jeremy Lin: 25 games started = $25 million contract

Good lord! Jeremy Lin this, Jeremy Lin that. The Knicks will keep him, the Knicks won’t keep him. Whatever. Houston have him now so maybe, maybe there is some end in sight to this torrential downpour of repetitive, inane Jeremy Lin media coverage. What on earth has been going on? ESPN is practically ESPN\JeremyLin.com at this stage, their poster boy LeBron James has even taken a backstage to Linsanity.

Imagine you were a pretty big sports fan who, the night before Lin injured himself this NBA season past, was hit in the head by a blunt object and slipped into a coma. Imagine you woke up today and your loved ones had a laptop ready for you with all the big sporting websites open so you could catch up on your beloved sports news straight off the bat.

From the sheer stupid, heavy weight of Lin related coverage, you would have to assume that Lin had, while you lay in a coma, single handed led the Knicks to the NBA title, averaging 34 points a game in the playoffs, had talked Michael Bay out of ever making another Transformer movie, had opened sixteen orphanages, slapped the silly out of Tom Cruise, and donated 50 % of his salary to New York’s homeless.  The next day after all that, he had cured World hunger.

How stunned would you be if you were to find that Lin had actually ceased playing the night you had got knocked out cold? He didn’t score one point from that point on in the NBA and evidence suggests he had not slapped the crazy out of Tom Cruise. You would basically slip right back into a coma, right?

Whatever about the (L)insanity of all this endless media coverage, what on earth are Houston doing offering Lin a 3 year $25 million dollar contract on the basis of one half of a decent NBA season? Is there really such a dearth of talent around at the point guard position that people are willing to dole out such huge figures on the basis of a completely inconsequential sample period?!

Taking a quick step back, let’s review the ‘career’ of Jeremy Lin thus far.

Lin has played in 64 NBA games. Total. Ever. Of those, he has started a pathetic 25. 25 games started in the NBA. In the history of time. Lin has attempted 80 three point shots in his career, and has hit on a very pedestrian 25 of those. Think about that for a second. He has hit 25 3 point shots. Ever. Ray Allen hit about that many in the time it took to write this article. Lin has scored 588 points in his long, storied NBA career. Total. LeBron James scored 588 points falling out of bed this morning.


Jeremy Lin is about to get a contract that rewards him with a million dollars for every start in his career thus far.

This bloated Lin coverage is absolutely ridiculous.

What is it going to finally take to get him off of the front pages? Bearing in mind, Lin has basically done nothing of consequence in terms of NBA history, and yet still he is demanding more column inches and breathless side-line reporter segments than real, actual, productive and successful athletes. What is it going to take? LeBron caught in a limousine with a transvestite ‘lady’ of the night? Josh Hamilton taking a tour of the Duff Brewery? Bryce Harper renouncing Mormonism and switching to Scientology?

It would be one thing if Lin was interesting. Sadly he would appear to have the charisma of your average log and the dramatic possibilities of the colour grey. Call me old fashioned, but I prefer my wildly over rated athletes to have, you know, lived a little.

Bring back Tim Tebow, all is forgiven!

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Olympics: LeBron, The President and respect

We're not going to pull the wool over your eyes here in this column. We have had our well documented ‘disagreements’ with ‘The King’, LeBron James, largely based around ESPNs sycophantic infatuation with the lad. You could argue it is not all his fault. Nevertheless, ‘From the bleachers’ has unashamedly driven the nail in as often as possible.

Last night we were given pause for thought.

The USA played Brazil in an Olympics warm up in Washington, and President Obama, a big basketball fan, was in attendance. LeBron, who dominated on the night in the USAs 80-69 win, had this to say about his President;

"You have dreams about being in the NBA. You have dreams about making the game-winning shot at the buzzer. You never have dreams about having the president actually watching you play, because you don't think it's possible. It's definitely humbling, to see him here, the first lady and their kids here to watch us play. Really, it's amazing."

Why is this newsworthy?

The office of the President of the United States is supposed to come with a level of respect. All too often idiots like Luke Scott make basically treasonable comments about the current office, and they get away with this because the President is African American (How else do you explain it?). The President is supposed to be referred to reverentially as Mr President. A legally, fairly elected President (this one didn’t have to stuff any ballot boxes in Florida to gain office) demands your respect.

Disagree with him if you want, but respect him or you are in direct contradiction with the constitutional ethos of the United States of America, a document that is all too often forgotten unless it is being used to maintain arguments for the fanatic right.

Just to note also, for those of you who do disrespect the Presidential seal, President Obama received a rousing, noisy and notably universal ovation as he arrived at the game last night.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Last night, LeBron got it all right, on and off the court. More like this from the kid, and we may even end up liking him.






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MLB: Emotional night on tap tonight at Fenway Park as Red Sox host White Sox

When the Boston Red Sox host the Chicago White Sox tonight at Fenway Park, there will be more sub plots attached to the occasion than to your average day time Mexican soap opera. A fully charged night of emotion is almost guaranteed as a number of potentially dramatic talking points play themselves out across the diamond.

First to the most glaringly obvious. ‘Youk’ is back. The bearded one is almost guaranteed a terrific response from the Fenway crowd thanks in large part to his classy exit from The Fens, almost as much as the years of graft and World Series wins behind him. Kevin Youkilis was always a fan favourite in Boston, and most likely always will be. He probably didn’t need to take out a full page advertisement on ESPN thanking the Fenway faithful, however the fact he did, shows he does care about his relationship with his former fans. Just remember, that loud droning noise you will likely hear as he takes his first at bat is not booing, it's Yooooooouk-ing.

Interesting quick side note on that page, notice Youkilis went out of his way to thank Tito?

‘’To Terry Francona, who led us to 2 World Series championships in 2004 and 2007, I thank you for your support and personal guidance through my career with the Red Sox.’’

Read into that what you will.

Second, to the return of one Jacoby Ellsbury. The dashing young outfielder looks like he has hit the ground running and he had three ringing hits in last night’s big win against Tampa. A healthy Ellsbury, playing at even a fraction of the incredibly high level he played last season, would mean an awful lot to the Red Sox attempts to dig into the Yankees AL East lead. A healthy Ellsbury brings average, speed, superior defence and also a little power\pop in his bat. He also bring s a healthy slice of ‘clutch’ to the occasion, and finally he brings a serious ‘presence’ to the spear tip of the Red Sox lineup, on a nightly basis.

Ellsbury should get a healthy ovation tonight in his first at bat.

Finally, Carl Crawford, barring a last minute setback, should take the field for Boston for the first time in 2012. The Red Sox outfield will suddenly have much more star power to it, and the lineup gets that little bit ‘longer’ with the inclusion of Crawford, who did not suddenly turn into a bad baseball player overnight. If he is healthy, he should contribute. Hopefully the Fenway fans recognise that Crawford has worked hard to recover from injury and he should be given a clean slate to work off of.

The possibilities that a truly healthy Crawford bring to the Red Sox are limitless, a return to even a percentage of the amazing talent that was Carl Crawford in Tampa would be a giant boost to the Red Sox.

So there it is. Plenty of storylines, against the back drop of Boston trying to struggle back into the AL East race. Chances are tonight they should see a boost in the win column, as the White Sox started, Axelrod, has gone 0-2 with an ugly 7.11 ERA in his last five starts.

Then again, this is baseball, and as the Red Sox have shown us the last 18 months, anything is possible!



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The NFL rules the airwaves (In the USA anyway)

It’s official. The NFL owns the USA. Well, it at least owns bragging rights to ‘most watched sport on television’. It is the King of TV. It is an inflated, wrecking ball of a  Godzilla sized monster. How can we say this with such authority? The website Sports Media Watch has compiled the ratings for the 50 most-viewed sports telecasts of the first half of 2012. The NFL is all over it like white on rice. It’s not even close.

Click on the below to view it in a larger view.

Perennial Piñata The Pro Bowl had almost as many viewers as the most important date in Nascar (although, that’s not really fair because, well, Nascar involves driving around in circles and even the Pro Bowl is more exciting than that)

The figures are staggering. The twelve top watched sporting events belonged to the NFL. Of course, these figures reflect the relative isolationist view of the US sports media when talking about sports and viewing figures.

An estimated 350 million people watched the Chelsea v Bayern Munich Champions League final in 2012.

Even the NFL dreams of figures like that.

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That’s a clown car, bro! Bryce Harper gets new wheels

And so yes, this appears to be happening. Bryce Harper got himself some new wheels, and the Washington Post has reacted in a calm, dignified, restrained manner. You know, with a 16 page photo gallery on pretty much every angle of said automobile. In fairness, it does have one pretty sweet feature, which we will get to in a minute. The rookie had his shiny new Mercedes-Benz CLS delivered after a month of custom detailing work. Harper had his Mercedes-Benz customized with a curly ‘W’ (We can only assume for ‘Washington’, although ‘W****r’ is of course still on the table)  and a glowing bat rack in his trunk.

That’s right, a bat rack, in his trunk, that glows.  Your guess is as good as ours, perhaps Harper sometimes really needs to grab a bat in the dark. You never know.  You can check out the full ‘article’ here, and while away your listless hours perusing the various snazzy little elements of the custom job.

Hopefully this ‘article’ from the Post might spark other news starved papers to give us some insight into the trunk of their own marquee players.  We assume Prince Fielder keeps some sort of grill in his trunk, and naturally Josh Hamilton has to have a fully stocked bar full video games system in his.

Anyway, all that aside, is this the most talked about set of wheels outside of the Batmobile?

Dude, where's my car?

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Kevin Youkilis is glad to be away from the Boston sports media

In case you haven’t noticed. Kevin Youkilis, recently traded to the Chicago White Sox, is raking. Youk is hitting bombs again, winning games with his bat, and the White Sox are on a tear since they picked him up in exchange for basically garbage to the Red Sox. Predictably enough, Youk is already a firm favourite on the Chicago south side, with his replica jerseys flying out of the club shop faster than you can say ‘Greek God of walks’.  Let’s take a step back to just a few weeks ago, before Youkilis was traded. At the time, the Boston sports media was tripping over itself in a rush to see who could insult Youkilis the harshest. In articles on Boston online papers, in Twitter and Facebook, the press absolutely whaled away at Youkilis, calling him washed up, done, finished and saying it was the right move to ship him out of time, as fast as possible. A couple of writers even suggested releasing the veteran.

The problem is, as Youkilis continues to show himself to be a veteran, quality bat, turns out they might have been very wrong.

The level of negativity attached to Youkilis by the media was astonishing. A number of my Red Sox fan friends mentioned it to me and we wondered why they were going so hard on the guy. Was it all instructed from ‘above’? (The Red Sox own part of the Boston Globe, for example) Did Youkilis do something to annoy them? Or were they just that negative?

Youkilis himself noticed it, obviously, and in a recent interview with a Chicago sports radio show made the following illuminating comments

First he said;

''I just think that sometimes in that environment in Boston, sometimes the media can get on you and expect you to have a career year every year."

Then,  on the differences in Boston and Chicago media, he said;

"The minute you get to your locker and you come to the field and the door's open til the minute you leave and all around. It's just a media-driven baseball town. Here, it's just kind of happy-go-lucky. If you're the player of the game, they come to your locker. If you're not, so be it, you just get on with your life and go home. There's just no added stress here, in that regard. Sometimes it can just wear on those teams in the Northeast."

As frequent followers of the Red Sox know, Youkilis is not an exception. The Boston sports media loves to drop the hammer down on Red Sox players and managers too. The unbelievable witch hunt that followed the regrettably 2011 collapse is obviously the case in point.

However it is not only veteran players and managers who are in their sights. Rookies with less than 20-30 at bats are not safe either.

Take for example the excellent looking Mauro Gomez.

Before last night’s loss to the Yankees, Gomez was batting .500 with a 9 of 18 showing, including some really big clutch hits. Orsillo and Remy on NESN were heard musing that perhaps this kid could eventually take over the DH spot from Big Papi. Judging by the way he swings his big bat, that’s not a stretch at all.

Of course, none of this is good enough for the ‘Knights of the keyboard’, as Ted Williams disdainfully dubbed the Boston area sports writers. No, Mauro Gomez’s ability with the bat does not protect him from the usual blissful mockery the Boston sports media likes to rain down on anyone not called Dustin Pedroia. Instead of focusing on his hitting ability, the scribes from Ye Olde Towne, have instead been absolutely lambasting him for his play at third base.

Here’s the thing, anyone who knows anything about the Red Sox farm system knows that Gomez is a DH or first base type player. He is selflessly playing out of position at third base because Will Middlebrooks is injured.  The writers who have been sarcastically lashing Gomez online in articles and through Twitter are conveniently neglecting to reference that fact as they gleefully tear the young man’s defence apart.

There is a reason many players would not dream of coming to Boston, no matter how big a truck of John Henry’s money the team backed up to his house. That reason is the often despicably negative Boston sports media. Call it what you want, dress it up any way you like, the Boston sports media takes great pleasure in ripping players apart. For players who have been subjected to their ugly brand of journalism, not having to deal with them on a regular basis is a breath of fresh air.

Just ask Kevin Youkilis.

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Yankee star Mark Teixeira calls Redsox Padilla 'friendless'

So last night Yankee first baseman Mark Teixeira had a big hit off Red Sox reliever Vincent Padilla, a game winning hit as it turned out. The Yanks won a game that almost went on four hours, injury riddled Boston licks its wounds and gets ready for today's potentially draining double dip. Game over, no big deal, nothing to see here, right?

Wrong. Teixeira would appear to have become the 'class' police of MLB, if his incredibly stupid, childish and frankly bush league comments after the game are anything to go by. Teixeira and Padilla have something of a history, in that the latter has hit him with pitches twice. I guess they must have really, really stung the Yankee first baseman because the big lug had this to say post game;

“Game-winning hits always feel good, but that one definitely felt real good. I was making some jokes. I’ve got to get in line. He doesn’t have a lot of friends in the game.”

It is no secret Padilla is a coulourful character, who has knocked around a few organisations and has been moved on specially because of the 'colour' we just alluded to. He is definitely not blameless in this. However, to be a Major League baseball player, and to stand there in a post game interview and to say 'He doesn't have a lot of friends in the game' is nothing short of imbecilic. It is arrogant and aggressive. Frankly I hope Padilla continues to be the person he is, he is enjoyable to watch, and who are we to tell him to change his 'style'?

For Teixeira to single out a player like that absolutely stinks, and hopefully the rest of the Redsox stick up for their team mate. It is also absolutely an indicator of just how blinkered a vision on life Teixeira has.

Blinkered? Damn right. Teixeira if you recall once flirted with the Redsox heavily before choosing to go to The Bronx because, well, basically because his wife intimated she might prefer the shopping there. No, seriously, that's basically how it went down at the time. Teixeira's wife had a huge hand in her husband's decision, because she liked Manhattan shopping.

Secondly, Teixeira would appear to be rather friendless with a particular group of baseball fans. You might be surprised to hear which ones. Yankee fans, as it turns out. These are a selection of 2012 headlines from Yankee blogs we checked out this morning. The headlines are all 100% accurate, and are all from this season. In fact they are all from the last few weeks. Look 'em up, if you like. I left in the caps on a couple of them, because I thought it was kind of funny that Yankee fans write blogs in caps.

• WHY MARK TEIXEIRA'S COMMENTS SHOCKED ME A BIT (complaining about being dropped to 7th in the order) 
• WHY MARK TEIXEIRA SHOULD GIVE UP SWITCH HITTING 
• Mark Teixeira Is Still Powerless (And It’s Not OK Anymore) 
• Do we still believe in Teixeira? 
• Contracts Can Kill: Mark Teixeira 

Those are comments from Yankee blogs, Mark. Take a look. It would appear you are as friendless as you claim Padilla is, and in your case, it is your own fans.

Hurts, don't it?

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The 2012 Irish Central Alternate MLB All-Stars

Not long now until the MLB All-Star game, under a week to be exact, and up to now baseball fans everywhere have been talking about the guys that made it, and some deserving guys that didn't. Well, how about the absolutely un-deserving guys, what about those folk who won't be at the All-Star game and yet have 'preformed' at such a deviant level (deviant from the norm) that some sort of celebration should be held in their honour. What about the alternate All-Stars?

There are some truly legendary (legendarily awful) seasons being executed on the diamond this season, and these staggeringly bad numbers need to be at least taken note of.

It all starts with the guy hunched down behind the plate, and the Irish Central alternate all-stars have Oakland's Kurt Suzuki flashing signs as catcher and, well, not doing much else at all, actually. His pathetic .210 batting average is painful to see even in statistical representation, let alone in the field of play. He has been to the plate 229 times and has yet to lose a ball in the stands. Zero home runs. Pathetic.

Plus, this happened to him.

Patrolling the first base bag is The Tampa Bay Devil Rays Carlos Pena, who has the fifth most at bats in MLB in 2012 and in those has managed to compile a head scratchingly terrible .197 batting average. Pena struck out getting out of bed this morning, and has now done so 103 times so far this season. Justin Verlander salivates when he sees this human whiffing machine step to the plate.

At second base we have Rickie Weeks. They have basically taken the description under 'Light hitting second baseman' out of the baseball dictionary and replaced it with a grinning picture of Rickie Weeks. Your grandfather would probably get more wood on the ball than Weeks. His ugly .194 batting average is bad enough, but 96 strikeouts? Oh boy.

Swinging and missing and playing third base is the O-Dog, Orlando Hudson. His colourful nickname used to be a term of endearment, but is rapidly turning into a vicious slur as Hudson swings and misses his way merrily through 2012. He has only managed to reach base at a .255 clip, which would be a horrible batting average, but he has that covered also with a nasty .197 average that Carlos Pena could even laugh at.

At short stop is the very Irish sounding Brendan Ryan, however the current Irish national team captain and short stop, Darran O'Connor, could probably manage better numbers than the Seattle 'slugger'. Ryan is sporting a .182 average and has managed 2 long balls in 214 at bats. Nasty.

Three boys in the outfield who fully deserve their place on the alternate all stars. He may have a great name for baseball, a big reputation and a disarming smile, but Cameron Maybin's .210 average is disgustingly bad. 4 home runs in 271 at bats? Don't call me, Maybin. Seattle's Chone Figgins used to be a big star. Now he is batting .186 with a lightweight .245 on base percentage and has 'managed' 2 home runs in 145 at bats. Finally, old friend Johnny Damon should maybe start considering other options, if his .201 average is anything to go by.

Finally, and we take great pleasure in this one, the designated 'hitter' spot goes to Luke Scott of the Orioles. Couldn't happen to a bigger *******. One of the least likeable players in all of baseball, Scott stinks at the plate too. Scott is a famous advocate for gun usage. Thankfully, if he did draw a piece on you, he would probably miss. He is batting .201 and has managed only 12 walks while swinging and missing 43 times.


Plus, he looks like a moron.

So there they are, the 2012 Irish Central 'Alternate All-Stars'. Wouldn't it be great to get to see these guys play as a team?

And of course in this situation by 'great' we mean, absolutely awful.

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The 2012 Irish Central 'Alternate All-Stars in detail


Position: DH
Player: Luke Scott - Baltimore
'Highlights' .201 BA, 43 K and only 12 BB in 194 AB

Position: Catcher
Player: Kurt Suzuki - Oakland As
'Highlights' .210 BA, .247 OBP, 0 HR in 229 ABs

Position: First base
Player: Carlos Pena - Tampa Bay Devil Rays
'Highlights' .197 BA, 103 Ks in a whopping 284 ABs (5th most for 1B in MLB)

Position: Second base
Player: Rickie Weeks - Milwaukee Brewers
'Highlights' .194 BA, 96ks, 54 hits least among all qualifying MLB 2B, 278 AB is in top 20 of all MLB

Position: Third base
Player: Orlando Hudson - San Diego
'Highlights' .197 BA, .255 OBP, only 17 BB in 218 AB

Position: Shortstop
Player: Brendan Ryan - seattle
'Highlights' .182 BA, .285 OBP, 2 HR in 214 AB

Position: OF
Player: Cameron Maybin - San Diego
'Highlights' .210 BA, 4 HR in 271 AB

Position: OF
Player: Chone Figgins - Seattle
'Highlights' .186 BA, .245 OBP, 12 BB and 2 HR only in 145 AB

Position: OF
Player: Johnny Damon - Cleveland
'Highlights' .201 BA, only 2 SB, 16 BB and 19 R in 149 AB

Position: OF
Player: Marlon Byrd - Boston\Chicago
'Highlights' .210 BA, 31 K, 0 SB and 3 CS, 1 HR in 143 AB

Position: DH
Player: Luke Scott - Baltimore
'Highlights' .201 BA, 43 K and only 12 BB in 194 AB

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Irish soccer legend Damien Duff visits Irish troops in the Lebanon

Some professional athletes talk a big game. Others put their money where their mouth is.

While we go about our normal lives, worrying about paying the bills, what we are going to have for dinner and what’s on TV later, there are currently over 330 Irish soldiers serving in the Lebanon as part of the strong UN remit in that country, keeping the peace in a time of great stress for the region. It is an incredibly dangerous task, and tragically, 47 Irish soldiers have died defending the peace in South Lebanon. All the while the fear remains that the problems in neighbouring Syria could explode across the border. It is a tense time to be a UN peace keeper based in the region.

This brings us to Damien Duff, or ‘The Duffer’

The veteran Irish soccer star could have stayed at home, licking his wounds after the disastrous Irish European Championships campaign. He could have zipped off somewhere hot and sunny and hit the golf links, or collapsed by the pool. Instead, The Duffer chose to make a difficult, dangerous trip to Beirut, and subsequently on to the Lebanon. He has gone to help lift the spirits of the Irish force there, and will no doubt offer them stories from his Irish team and Premiership exploits in his colourful, successful career. Duff also paid his respects the memory of the 47 Irish men who died in the name of peace.

It is a fantastic, unselfish gesture from a clearly level headed and thoughtful man. The 33 year old Irish star will spend three days with the Battalion, and apart from meeting and spending time with the troops, he is also scheduled to visit a local orphanage.

Professional sports can be a depressing entity at time. Having to listen to the likes of morons like Dwight Howard procrastinate as to what team he wants to pay him millions of dollars to play basketball next season, while holding the NBA loving city of Orlando to hostage, is very unappealing. The same goes for Carlos Lee, the bloated Houston Astros slugger with his similarly bloated $100 million contract. We really need to read endless stories about what team he refuses to be traded to, seriously?

Modern professional sports can be an ugly creature. Thankfully there are still characters as strong and honourable as Damien Duff. His heart warming decision to visit his countrymen in the Lebanon is an example to us all.

It also makes your heart burst with pride to be Irish.

Hopefully Duff and the boys in green enjoy his visit to the utmost.

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Erin Andrews and FOX: Perfect partners in a voyeuristic World

With former Uber-sideline reporter Erin Andrews moving to FOX Sports, once more we are reminded just how swarthy and essentially incestuous a place the Internet is. The basics, for those of you new to this breaking story, a once famous and now considerably less famous side-line reporter has left a big sports website to move to a smaller sports website. That’s it really. From the wild reaction on the Internet, you would think Bryce Harper just stormed in on a Phillies post-game press conference wearing a Hells Angels tank-top, smacked Cole Hamels in the back of the head with a baseball bat, renounced Mormonism and snogged a female reporter on the way out in triumph.

Andrews and FOX are of course perfect partners. Perfect in the same way Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise were for each other. If you recall, Erin Andrews was once victim of a voyeur who invaded her privacy in a hotel some years back. FOX are absolute masters at voyeuristic invasions of privacy. Their owners, News Corp, have spent the better part of 2012 in courtrooms in the United Kingdom fighting, unsuccessfully, allegations that they tapped the phones of celebrities, politicians and regular Joe Punters, basically in an attempt to get breaking news stories without performing any, you know, journalism.

Naturally they are perfect for each other! Erin can rest easy in the knowledge that her phone is probably being tapped, and that next time she dates <Insert athletes name here> their text messages and phone conversations will probably be editing room fodder for News Corp journalists, and not just perverts in random lonely, hotel voyeur incidents.

In case you think Andrews and the rest of you in the States are safe because the News Corp ‘issue’ occurred in England only, well excuse me, you couldn’t be more wrong. One of the more disgusting incidents in the UK version was that News Corp was found guilty of hacking into the private phones and voice-mail containers of deceased British service men. They did this in order to be able to splash messages from grief stricken friends and family on their papers, primarily The News Of The World. The police in New York have exposed News Corp previously, in 2009, for attempting to do something very similar in America. Almost unbelievably they attempted to retrieve private phone records of victims of the September 11 attacks.

Now if that isn’t the lowest of the low, it is pretty damn close.

And now Erin Andrews, a victim of voyeuristic crime,  works for FOX Sports, who are directly owned by News Corp, who also owned the now defunct News Of The World, who, amongst other voyeuristic activities,  hacked into peoples phones.

In a way it is all very symmetrical and beautiful.

Then again in another, more realistic way, it is absolutely disgusting, alarming, and possibly one of those little signs of the decay of Western civilization that we see cropping their ugly little head up every so often.

Or, it is just funny, in a tragic kind of way.

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