Why is it okay for Manning to run the score up when Brady was slated for same?

Peyton Manning is scooping up awards and accolades at the same rate Matthew Stafford throws picks, and in general receiving positive press for doing something Tom Brady and the Patriots were widely scolded for doing in 2007: Namely, running up the score. Why the different attitude 6 years on?

Peyton Manning

In 2007 the New England Patriots set the NFL alight with some absolutely stunning football. In a perfect fusion of attacking, offensive football and smothering, point vulturing defence, the Brady Bunch swept all before them in the regular season, driving hard to a perfect 16-0 record. Some of the scorelines are, to this day, shocking. 

Only 4 times all season did the Patriots fail to score 30 more more. They scored over 40 4 times and over 50 twice. From weeks 6 through week 8 they scored a stunning, 48, 49 and 52 points. The Patriots offence was like a hungry Great White shark in a tiny swimming pool with fat, lazy salmon. It was no contest.

The reaction?

At first a kind of a stunned silence. Then some rather angry accusations of running the score up, particularly from teams and writers that were beaten by the bigger scores, for example here and also here.

Scoot forward a few years to 2013, and Peyton Manning and the Denver Broncos are setting records that are actually breaking the ones the Patriots set, for example the total Touchdowns thrown, 50 by Brady, now 51 and counting by Manning. The Broncos have put up several lopsided scores and have continued throwing late into games also.

The reaction? 

Nothing short of sycophantic. The mainstream media have been involved in a season long Manning love-fest that is in danger of spiralling out of control. Manning is everywhere, goofily grinning down from billboards, ads and interviews, joking around with Ron Bergundy and basically being rammed down our throats by ESPN and the rest 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The man can do no wrong, even when repeating exactly what Brady did a few years ago, something that, at the time, people declared it very wrong indeed.

Why is this the case? Why can Peyton Manning get away with it?

Perhaps it is his goofy demeanour and enormous forehead? Manning admirably has no issue whatsoever making fun of himself in the National media. He seems like a pretty decent chap, and it would appear that long gone are the days where Manning would throw his own team mates under the bus, as with the Colts a few times after bitter losses (mostly to the Patriots).

Manning's forehead has its own zip code

Whatever about Manning's enormous forehead, perhaps the most logical reason people in general aren't as intimidated by the '13 Broncos as by the '07 Patriots is, Denver just aren't that good. Not only have they lost 3 games, which is 300% more than the '07 Patriots, they have lost to Brady and the most recent, very flawed version of those very same Patriots. Basically, Denver are a circus freak show, they can put up points on a record pace when the situation is in their favour, however when push comes to shove they will most likely fold under the pressure of a relatively predictable offence (stick 9 near the line of scrimmage and Manning has nowhere to go) and a frankly horrendous defence.

They just aren't that scary. 

Unlike the '07 Patriots, who sucked the very life out of several franchises on their way to that stunning 2007 regular season.

Maybe it's the Broncos 3 losses and inability to stop even the worst opposition scoring on them, maybe it's Manning's gigantic rectangular forehead and effortless goofiness. 

Whatever it is, it's fascinating to watch the media sycophantically pour adulation on Manning for doing exactly what Brady did 6 years earlier to, at that time, choruses of boos and angry scribes bashing on their keyboards.

It's amazing what a difference 6 years can make.

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What’s in a Derek Jeter gift basket?

The New York Post and other are ‘reporting’ that Derek Jeter is giving out gift baskets to the women who stay for sleepovers at his exclusive home. We’re suitably intrigued. 

Derek Jeter

First things first, we often drop a little sarcasm on your here in 'From the bleachers', and we have occasionally tried to sneak a couple of fake stories past you, our lovely readers, however we bring you this one in all truth and honesty, despite the fact it seems exactly as if it were in our sarcastic wheel-house.

You might expect the following headline in a newspaper in Boston or anywhere else that has a strong anti New York Yankee fan-base, however for a New York paper to print this is, to say the least, a little odd. We give you one of the lead headlines in the NY Post today; 

Jeter gives autograph swag to one-night stands

Someone get on to the good people at The Pulitzer Awards, tell them to hold on to the 2013 votes until this story plays out. The Post reports that since Yankee legend Derek Jeter split from Minka Kelly he has been entertaining a proportionately large number of ladies in his ‘Trump World Tower bachelor pad’. It is debatable whether this on its own would constitute news even on a slow day however add the fact that apparently the ladies go home with a Derek Jeter gift basket and suddenly we are on to something.

Funniest exposé within has to be the fact that Jeter lost count at one stage and gave one lucky young lady the gift basket twice, forgetting she had indeed been an earlier conquest. We’re guessing that amongst the Jeter groupie posse this might be known as ‘doubling-up’.

What we are most curious about, apart from the question as to why any superstar would want to play in New York and have to deal with the back stabbing vampires journalists in the Post, is what on earth makes up the contents of a Derek Jeter ‘Thank-You’ gift basket? The only element we are sure about, confirmed by the Posts’s crack team of reporters, is a Derek Jeter autographed baseball.

Apart from that, what are we talking here? Breath mints? Deodorant? A mouth wash? A complimentary 10% off your next Pizza at Jeter’s favourite Pizzeria, Ninos?

Jeter’s Irish mother would no doubt be proud of her generous son

At the end of the day, when all is said and done, next time you are purchasing an autographed Derek Jeter baseball on the Internet, just remember how much effort went into obtaining that little gem.

Yankees gift basket - throw in a breath mint and you have a Jeter gift basket

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Peyton Manning unveils new hot tub safety helmet

With millions of Americans retreating indoors from the cold to their hot tubs, the issue of hot tub safety is obviously a massive concern right now. Thankfully, one of the most safety aware professional athletes in the United States is on the case. 

Peyton Manning

When Steve Funkensloppen  of The American Hot Tub Safety Association (AHTSA) started his search for a Hot Tub safety awareness endorsement candidate, he wrote one name down on a piece of paper and brought it to his superiors. That name? Peyton Manning. Funkensloppen knew from the moment he was tasked with finding a suitable safety awareness star that Manning was his man.

Funkensloppen has always been a Denver Broncos fan and he was elated when Manning was brought on board to push the Broncos to the next level. Watching the veteran QB give classic displays of how not to get hit as a QB, Funkensloppen  put one and one together and knew he had his Hot Tub safety awareness superstar.

"Have you ever watched Manning drop like a dead animal every time an opposition linebacker gets within five yards of him? That’s veteran awareness, that’s veteran safety awareness right there," an excited Funkensloppen told us in an exclusive interview. "His entire career, Manning has dropped, safely, to the ground, avoiding sacks and showing kids all over America how to put safety ahead of you know, toughness and winning, and stuff like that."

Manning was delighted to be approached by Funkensloppen and together with the AHTSA they have come up with a number of Hot Tub safety tools, for example the NFL team branded Hot Tub safety helmet in the above picture. Manning can be seen in the same picture watching his favorite cartoons on a modified, water-proofed iPad with smooth, protected edges so veteran QBs won’t cut themselves while playing in the Hot Tub.

Unfortunately the great man himself, Peyton Manning, could not be reached for comment, as he was preparing for the San Diego game on site shooting a Papa John’s Pizza commercial.

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Offensive NFL sign outside restaurant just a symptom of a larger problem

A racially offensive sign outside a restaurant chain in Belton, Miss has caused a storm on the social networks. However, what’s the point of attacking the idiot who put it up, when several major professional sports teams are allowed to use racially insensitive logos and mascots?

1860 would be so proud

The Sonic Drive-in restaurant chain has been forced to apologize for a very  offensive sign that was displayed outside one of its branches last weekend.  The sign, which was put up outside a Belton, Miss., branch, read, 'KC Chiefs' Will Scalp the Redskins Feed Them Whiskey Send -2- Reservation," As it turns out, it was technically correct, in that Kansas did indeed overwhelm Washington on Sunday. Still, that’s no excuse for the pretty pathetic, childish and offensive sign.

The chain has released this statement;
‘’ The remarks posted on this message board were wrong, offensive and unacceptable. In a misguided effort to support his football team an independent franchise owner allowed passion to override good judgment. The owner has reinforced with his employees the boundaries of what is acceptable and unacceptable. On behalf of the franchise owner and our entire brand we apologize for the offensive remarks.’’

Here’s the thing, the restaurant employee idiotic simpleton who created this sign is not the problem.

We, namely society in the United States, are the real problem.

If you are going to be stupid enough as a society to play deaf, dumb and blind and allow a professional sports team to use an outrageously racist nickname (and if you don’t  think it is racist, answer this simple question, would a racially insensitive African American nickname be acceptable? No it would not) then this is the kind of garbage we are going to have to put up with.

There’s zero point in attacking idiots like this, when bigger idiots like Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder continue to stubbornly refuse to admit they are offending an entire race with their pathetic old nickname.

Ask yourself one quick question. If that sign had been making fun of traditional, racist African American stigmas (slavery etc), do you think this would be being treated like a joke? Obviously no, it would not. The person who put the sign up and the manager of the branch would have been sacked.

We just don't care as a society about racially abusing American Indians.

Until we take seriously various groups efforts to have offensive American Indian mascots and logos usage discontinued, we're all in on this.

We're all writing offensive signs on a Sunday.

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Katherine Webb and the morbid depths of US sports 'journalism'

A look at a popular sports website article, the related comment section and the Katherine Webb situation is not a pleasant experience. 

Katherine Webb (right)

In a brilliant, cutting, journalistic masterpiece the site Bleacher Report brings us the vital report, ‘’Katherine Webb Says She's 'Nervous' About Iron Bowl Game’’. Earth shattering stuff. Sarcasm aside, this is a reflection of two topics. This is what Webb has to look forward to the rest of her life, and secondly, yes, this is the state of Sports ‘journalism’ in the United States.

200-400 word ‘articles’ with ridiculously inane headlines, an excuse to publish a few pictures and catchy captions, fodder for the comments section. And boy oh boy does the Bleacher Report comment section deliver, as always.

Let’s just say a trip to the depths of a Bleacher Report article comment section is something that future generations will probably study in terms of the depths of human stupidity. A more moronic, monosyllabic and ignorant place you shall never find.

This ‘article’ brought out the best in Alabama football fans  (click the image to view the comments but be warned, some are offensive).

In a way, you can’t blame them, this is the way they are led by the super media powers that be. This is what they are fed, and this is what they are reacting to. In January of this year I suggested that the blatant objectification on television of Webb was sexist and frankly kind of misogynistic. Some people liked the article, plenty hated it, and it generated reams of hate mail and aggressive comments from readers who called me everything from an idiot to a liberal to a liberal idiot and plenty more I won’t repeat here. College football generates the wildest, most angry of responses from its fan base.

It also generates the worst kind of commentary from same
(click the image to view the comment but be warned, it is offensive).

Let's call a spade a spade here, Bleacher Report may try and portray itself as a sports website, but really it is just a portal for trolls to say offensive things. If they want to argue that fact, well you can just point toward any of their moderated comment sections, which are all basically as bad as the above.

Back to Webb for a second.

As we said, this is her future. Basically a punchline to a stupid story. It has been a year, and it doesn’t appear as if Brent Musburger’s swarthy, scum-bag, salacious comments have got her anywhere really. No career rocket blast appears to have occurred, Instead Webb will continue to be fodder for the likes of Bleacher Report. It was suggested by some back in January that Webb herself was okay with Brent Musburger’s comments, and that she viewed it as a launching pad for her career. It would be interesting to talk to her in a couple of years, after a few more thousand ugly, sexist and misogynistic comment sections get their hands on her, to see if she still felt that Brent Musburger basically salivating over her on National TV was really a porgressive vehicle for her career.

At the end of the day, this is where we are at. Idiotic articles, ugly, aggressive comments sections and sexism in mainstream US sporting media unchecked.

If only some of the billions of dollars generated by College Football in the USA were spent on, you know, education.

There's a caption in here somewhere..

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Alabama to change their mantra ‘Roll Tide’ to ‘Part, Tide’.

After a dramatic weekend of College Football action, Alabama have decided to change their historic old mantra from 'Roll Tide' to a more apt, modern version. 

Alabama may have lost their unbeaten season, and possibly a shot at the BCS title game, however it is not all bad news for 'Bama fans. After the dramatic, final second loss to rival Auburn in the Iron Bowl game last Saturday, the Alabama powers that be have decided a fresh, updated mantra is required for the school to modernize itself.

Art Buckawinski, a school administrator, talks us through the change.

''Well, as you know, the Alabama special teams parted like the Red Sea to allow Auburn to score that missed field goal return, so we thought, heck, why not update the old mantra and bring in something new, fancy and, I guess, sexy. Well, a few of us were sitting around with a few school boosters and we thought, what about 'Part, Tide'. Seems like the right thing to do''.

There you have it.

Goodbye 'Roll Tide', hello 'Part, Tide'.

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Guinness Book Of Records confirms: Seattle Seahawks have easily the most annoying fans

While attending the Monday Night Football game between the Seattle Seahawks and the New Orleans Saints, to check if the home town team could break a fan-noise record, the Guinness Book Of Records staff chanced upon another amazing discovery.

Seattle fan: Awful.

The elite Guinness Book Of Records ‘fact checking team’ was in the house last night to catch Monday Night Football and New Orleans at Seattle. They were there with bundles of highly tuned, expensive audio testing equipment to measure the home crowd noise and see if the Seahawks fans could break the World Record, and indeed a few ear drums, for crowd noise during a game.

Seattle fans: Really annoying

While testing the audio levels one of the highly trained fact checkers stumbled upon an astonishing discovery.

The Seattle Seahawks have, easily, the most annoying fans in all of professional sports.

The Guinness Book employee, Gunther Fartgarten, breathlessly takes the story up;  ‘Yes, I was checking my audio equipment when I looked up at the stands, and it kind of just came to me. I thought to myself ‘My God, these fans are really annoying’ at which point I grabbed a copy of the book of records and thumbed through it. Previously the most annoying fans in the World were St Louis Cardinals fans, but clearly everyone feels kind of sorry for them now, so Seattle fans are obviously in pole position now’.

The Guinness Book uses a complicated algorithm to calculate Crowd Annoyance Levels (CAL) and they maintain a level of secrecy around this, although Mr Fartgarten did say; ''I mean, did you see that one guy dressed as the Hulk? How annoying was that? That was worth 2 CAL points right there. Did he think it was still Halloween? Idiot.''

Seattle fans: Hulk smash.

Sadly Seattle's noisy fans have failed to break the World Record for noise levels during a game. Of course they can be content in the fact they have taken another title, that of The Single Most Annoying Fans In The World.

Seattle: Grammatically challenged.

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