From the Bleachers

Friday, April 13, 2012

Skeletons coming out of the closet: Latest in the Bobby Petrino posse - Alison Melder

Alison Melder and Bobby Petrino

Isn’t this whole Bobby Petrino thing starting to feel a little Tiger-Woodsish?

Move over Jessica Dorrell, there's a new mistress in town! Up to now the focus on former Arkansas Razorbacks coach Bobby Petrino's "illicit" relationship has been Jessica Dorrell, however the exposure of Petrino's phone records via the Freedom of Information Act has moved attention to another potentially inappropriate dalliance.

Modern technology, isn’t it great? The content of Petrino's text messages, still available on his business cellphone, were obtained by the Associated Press, through a Freedom of Information Act request. Several websites have taken the time to trawl through the entire record and pick out the juicer elements. One of the repeat phone numbers in the list was that of model Alison Melder.

Here are the raw details. At various junctures in September, October, and November 2011, Melder and Petrino exchanged at least 200 text messages. There were no phone calls (not with that phone anyway). The messages begin appearing on 12th September, the first day for which phone records are available. They continue until 6th November. There were seven picture messages sent, all from Melder to Petrino. One can only hypothesize on the content of same.

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If you are into trawling through people’s phone records, you can, thanks to the joys of the freedom of information act, view the relevant documentation right here

Melder is an interesting character, to say the least. She has been, at different junctures of her life, a model and her LinkedIn profile lists her as a senate assistant with the Republican Party of Arkansas. Interestingly the Republican Party begs to differ, and any reference to her name has been scrubbed off the relevant websites. Back to the modeling, one profile she created four years ago contains a portfolio of bikini and lingerie images.

Melder, judging by the profile, doesn’t seem to really know what she wants in life (check out the snapshot from her profile below, nudes or no nudes, that is the question!). Maybe Petrino was her sage ‘guide’ type figure. Perhaps those 7 pictures she sent him were snap shots of theological quandaries the now 26 year old was facing.

Or maybe they were just her in skimpy lingerie. Your guess is as good as ours.

And so the Bobby Petrino story gets that little bit more salacious, that little bit murkier. What next? Are we about to get treated to a stream of models, waitresses and other assorted women coming forward as with Tiger Woods?

For now, the Petrino Posse stands at two, but, watch this space.

Links:

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Ozzie Guillen suspended for five games by the Miami Marlins

Well now, apparently the first amendment is becoming a distant memory to some. The Miami Marlins have suspended manager Ozzie Guillen for five games for comments he made to Time magazine in which he has been perceived to have made favorable comments on Cuban leader Fidel Castro.

Three major issues with this ridiculous sentencing.

First off, and the most simple issue, English is not Guillen’s natural language, and it would appear the reported comment has been taken out of context. Guillen told Time magazine, for an article published last week, that he 'loves' Castro and respects him for staying in power for so long. This was buried amongst other less inflammatory comments, and Guillen has since tried to clarify the situation by stating repeatedly that he does not admire Castro. He said when the comments were made, he was talking about how he was surprised Castro was able to remain in power so long, given the number of people he has harmed.

He has stressed, and this for me is the crucial aspect; "The interpretation didn't come out as I wanted," Guillen said in Spanish "I was thinking in Spanish and I said the wrong thing in English."

Straight off the bat, Guillen should get a ‘pass’ on this one.

Secondly, it would appear Guillen is being punished for expressing admiration for a world leader. Doesn’t matter what you think of his politics, all Guillen was doing was expressing admiration for the length of his stay in power. He didn’t slander anyone. He wasn’t using hate speech. He was expressing a pretty mundane opinion.

Why is Guillen being suspended for five games (an extremely steep suspension) when Jason Whitlock was not suspended for one second for using a disgraceful racial stereotype in describing Jeremy Lin earlier in the NBA season? Whitlock was not fined or suspended, despite the fact his disgraceful comment was nothing short of disgusting, racially motivated and extremely ugly.

Thirdly, and finally, the United States constitution protects its people from punishment or persecution around the area of free speech, It is one of the most important sections of the constitution, and the Miami Marlins, in their stern, unwarranted actions, are in direct opposition of the constitution.

Ozzie Guillen is a clever, successful, intelligent man, an entertaining man, with his own opinions on the state of the world and world affairs. His crime would appear to be honesty and a willingness to speak his mind. He hasn’t used hate-speech, he hasn’t been disrespectful or rude, he simply spoke his opinion and that opinion appears to also have been taken somewhat out of context.

There should be absolutely no issue here, and yet Guillen has been suspended for five games, whilst others who make far more serious statements roam the Internet, free to peddle their ignorant brand of nasty hate speech.

This is not what the founding fathers had in mind when they gave the United States the First Amendment, and its populace the freedom of expression and thought that, supposedly, US troops are wandering the four corners of the globe protecting.

Links.

Friday, April 6, 2012

It’s official: Detroit Tigers named the fattest professional sports team in sports history

There were wild celebrations all around the City of Detroit today, after the Tigers were officially named ‘The Fattest Professional Sports Team in the History of Sports’. The news came hot on the heels of the Tigers exciting win against the Boston Red Sox, and further enlivened a City already rejoicing with a great start to their MLB season.

‘’Yeah man I am really excited about this.’’ Prince Fielder said after the game against Boston, as he chowed down on an after game spread of Lobster stuffed with truffles, Cheeseburgers and Barbequed Swordfish. ‘’You know I gotta holla at my boys though, didn’t do this on my own, man. Dotel, Valverde, Cabs and Bo Bo. Did you boys even know Dotel was 230lbs?!’’

Fielder was of course referring to Octavio Dotel, the relief pitcher who weighed 180lbs when he was with the Mets, and now hovers somewhere between 230 and 240 depending whether you believe a team’s media guide or not.

Valverde - 254 lbs

The Tigers grabbed the award with an incredible ten players weighing in over 220lbs. That might not raise eyebrows in a city like Dallas, Texas, or Birmingham Alabama, where the average weight of an adult male is now over 300lbs, however in Detroit, this is indeed a ‘big’ deal.

The top dogs of the Tigers ‘fat’ list are of course Miguel ‘Carbs’ Cabrera, Prince Fielder and Jose Valverde, who’s listed media guide weight is 254lbs, however Prince Fielder was heard to jest, as he lifted the trophy for fattest team, ‘Last time Valverde was 254lbs his momma was still making his lunch for school!’

Oh no he did-ent.

Valverde, a quirky closer, literally has a belly so big it is hanging over his baseball pants belt. Cabrera made a highlight play during the game last night where he stumbled, tripped, fell backwards and still caught the ball. A slimmer man may have injured himself doing same.

When asked about the award Justin Verlander, a hefty 225lbs, mentioned that it was really a team effort, and paid particular credit to some of the ‘other’ guys, not just Fielder, Valverde and Cabrera. ‘Hey you know what, we were all in this together, no way we tilt the scale in our favour without Delmon and Brennan’. The ace was of course referring to Delmon Young and Brennan Boesch, Detroit’s starting corner outfielders, who weigh in at 240lbs and 235lbs respectively.

When asked about his contribution Delmon Young appeared quite angry, demanding the team adjust his listed 240lbs. ‘Dude, the last time I was 240lbs, I was still a virgin!’.

He calmed down however when asked about receiving the award in person. ‘’Man I’m just looking forward to when the people from Sports History get here, ‘cause I hear they’re gonna have like, an all you can eat buffet going’’

So, more great news for the city of Detroit, a city where a staggering one third of the populace are listed as below the standard poverty line, there is a 20% City unemployment rate, and the average annual income for a household of four is just below $20,000 dollars. We did not leave a '0' out. That's accurate. $20 grand. A year. A city where there has been an increase in 18-25% on demand for food from food banks and soup kitchens in the last five years.

There are literally thousands of people lining up to get free food in Detroit, because they do not have the means to feed themselves.

At least their professional baseball team has a squad that averages 215lbs a player in weight (5325 lbs divided by their 25 man squad, including several skinny 170/180lb types), and $4,075,000 a year in salary (including several bit-part players who earn between $400 and $600 thousand a year, bringing the average down dramatically).

God bless America.

Links.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

On those new NFL Nike jerseys - the kid that made yours got paid $1.25 today

Is it just me or is this mammoth Nike takeover of all the NFL jerseys a little creepy? In fact, very creepy. Whatever about the whole ‘market monopoly’ aspect, we all know where these things are being made, right? Clue: There is no merry band of elves working away in comfortable, air conditioned factories with cheeseburger lunch breaks and free milkshake vending machines. We’re not talking a working-condition Utopia here.

The last 24 hours pretty much my entire Facebook news feed has been flooded with NFL fan friends urging me to check out their respective favorite teams new threads. The glossy, airbrushed pictures are kind of detached and alien for starters. Rather than the ridiculous, shredded, ripped, CGI type characters the NFL and NIKE are portraying the jerseys in, frankly I would be more interested in seeing how one fits over Vince Wilfork’s ample frame.

Back to the issue at hand, it is absolutely amazing how easily we all gloss over the whole Nike sweatshop thing. Don’t worry, I am not absolving myself of blame here (although I have made a concerted effort to switch from Nike to Adidas particularly in the last decade or so), but we all need to take a step back and remember where these glossy, shiny, fancy new jerseys are coming from.

Kind of makes you reconsider how bad your 9-5 is, no?

Perhaps most disgusting of all is the price hike Nike are gleefully attaching to the new threads. Reebok sold the average NFL jersey for $60. In this time of recession, families being turned out on the street, houses being repossessed and entire communities stricken by high unemployment rates, Nike see fit to raise the price of their NFL jersey to $100.

Absolutely shocking greed.

Whats worse is the incredible profit they are making on each piece, because, as we dig a little deeper, we see how cheap it is for Nike to produce them.

On average, the person that made that fancy new Nike NFL jersey you are salivating over was paid $1.25 a day for doing so. Have a think about that for a second. Considering most of them work seven days a week, that’s $8.75 a week, $35 a month or $420 a year. If the average person that made that NFL jersey you are considering buying saved their entire wages for a year they would be able to afford four of those same jerseys.

If you are one of those ignorant Muppets that believes that $1.25 is a good salary in a third world country, incorrect. In July 2000 Jim Keady, a researcher who has campaigned against Nike’s slavery shops, lived with Nike factory workers in Indonesia. He reported that

‘’ I lived in conditions they lived in and on the wages they paid - $1.25 a day. I lost 25lbs in a month in a rat-infested slum in Tangerang, Indonesia, home to tens of thousands of the women and men who produce the Nike sneakers adored by so many athletes and consumers.’’

For those of you who think Nike is actively trying to make things better in its sweatshops, Keady has this to say;

"I was in Indonesia as recently as August 2009 and in my meetings with workers I heard all too familiar stories of inadequate wages, forced overtime, illegal firings for union organizing, workers being cheated out of pay, etc."

Those are the facts. This isn’t a viral charity campaign, this isn’t a syrupy, ‘Oh those poor people’ story. These are facts.

How do you feel about wearing a jersey that someone got paid a buck twenty five to make?

Makes you feel kind of slimy, no?

Links.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Troy Tulowitzki v Ubaldo Jimenez - the first base-brawl of the 2012 MLB season - VIDEO

That's right, the season hasn't even started as yet, however the first bench clearing brawl of the burgeoning 2012 MLB season occurred yesterday in the Spring training matchup between the Rockies and the Indians.

Ubaldo Jimenez says he won’t apologize to Troy Tulowitzki after hitting his former teammate in the left elbow with a pitch. Rumours are yet to be substantiated they might be meeting behind the bike shed at the back of school to finish the brawl after school.

“I shouldn’t be suspended,” Jimenez argued. “Players are hit by pitches every day. With a guy like him, you have to go inside. I can’t get the ball to go where I want every time.”

Sure, that's fine, and having thrown a billion pitches myself, of course every once in a while a pitch gets away, and an ego and a backside or two gets bruised. However, Jiminez's ridiculous macho posturing after throwing the offending pitch was definitely something he had control over.

Normally batters charge the mound after such instance, instead in this case Jimenez charged the plate.

Here is some excellent amateur footage of the brawl.

Maybe we shouldn't be so shocked at Jimenez's wildness, though. Two years ago, Jimenez was 15-1 for the Rockies at the All-Star break, and an NL starter for the midsummer classic. He has gone 14-20 since. He was not sharp this spring, going 1-4 with a 7.43 ERA. In seven Cactus League starts, he had as many walks as strikeouts, 15, indicating some level of wildness.

The real clue to Jimenez's idiotic actions might be found from comments he made recently to The Denver Post that he was upset he didn't receive a contract extension while Tulowitzki and Carlos Gonzalez got new deals. Jimenez was traded by Colorado to the Indians last summer.

Then again, maybe it was just that he is awful, and awfully angry. Jimenez gave up six runs on four hits and five walks in 4 1-3 innings in the game.

Either way, Rockies manager Jim Tracy was extremely upset. "Five days before Opening Day, you're going to take a pot shot like that? It's the worst I've ever seen," Tracy said. "I've lost all respect for him, and that's a very difficult thing for me to say with all the players I've had to manage over the years."

Finally, fantasy baseball owners who spent early round draft picks or big auction dollars on Troy Tulowitzki can breathe easy. Despite his left elbow being swollen and wrapped, Troy Tulowitzki felt confident that he'd be ready for opening day. X-rays were negative, and 'Tulo' should be back in the lineup soon

Links.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

25 reasons to be excited about the forthcoming MLB season

Here it comes. In fact, it actually started yesterday. That's right. MLB is upon us, whether you like it or not. Sticky pine tar, watered down beer, four hour plus Sox\Yankee games, some of the worst sporting commentary in organised sports, $2,500 seats behind home plate at Yankee stadium, and those horrific new Miami Marlins uniforms.

Thankfully it's not all bad. There are plenty of reasons to be excited and delighted about the upcoming MLB season. And, as the title implied, here are 25 of them.

25. Mike, or should we say, Giancarlo Stanton.

24. This new look Anaheim Angels squad should be pretty interesting to say the least. Albert Pujols and CJ Wilson are obviously the marquee additions, but what about Kendry Morales coming back from a lost season due to injury? Mark Trumbo is going to hit a lot of long balls, and what's Jered Weaver going to do for an encore to his scintillating 2011 season?

23. Justin Verlander.

22. Jose Reyes batting in front of Hanley Ramirez.

21. Prince Fielder playing in Detroit - Just a hunch really, but once the city of Detroit gets its loving arms around this affable character, it may never, ever let go. Particularly if he does this a couple of times.

20. Maybe we will get lucky and A-Rod will take more pictures like this

19. Four Wild Card teams. No, you heard that right, four. In case you missed it, instead of the old two Wild Card system, MLB will be implementing a new four team format for 2012 and going forward. I am sure there are all sorts of archaic old monoliths out there ranting and raving about 'tradition' and what not, but by the time the playoffs start, most of us will love this move.

18. Mr. Jonathon Papelbon closing games in Philadelphia. Luckily for Papelbon, the good citizens of Phillies nation are a shy, retiring sort. Patient to a man, they will no doubt continue to applaud and support Papelbon even after the hairiest of blown saves. Take for example the end to the Red Sox season. If Papelbon does that (blows the save against the Orioles and with it the season) the Phillies fans will no doubt groan a little, but this will undoubtedly be followed by a polite round of applause for the effort put forth. My keyboard just melted from sarcasm.

17. The Muddy Chicken doin' work.

16. The fact that someone, somewhere out there, is about to hit a walk off home run, and it about to get all crazy up in here.

15. Lester\Beckett\Bucholz, Hallady\Lee\Hamels, Lincecum\Cain\Bumgarner. Three of the finest front-threes in the Majors.

14. Joba Chamberlin's next stunt.

13. Buster Posey back in action after a year lay off from injury. Posey figures to be one of the more exciting up and coming young players for the next couple of seasons. Word on the proverbial street is he will hit the ground running.

12. Saturday afternoon to evening to night triple headers live on TV (In Ireland too!!)

11. Jamie Moyer, aged 49, pitching in the majors

10. Red Sox v Yankees (even if it takes 4 hours to complete)

9. The Chicago Cubs, possibly the best supported club in all of baseball (in terms of loyalty and support despite relative failure), have just as good a chance as anyone at winning the World Series. Until the season actually starts, of course.

8. Fenway franks

7. MLB TV on the PS3 (It is absolutely awesome)

6. Star Wars baseball

5. The first time you back a player in running to hit the next home run, he steps to the plate, takes a ball outside, then blasts the next pitch 435 feet over the left field bleachers.

4. Rex Ryan has nothing to do with baseball.

3. Bryce Harper - coming soon to a 500 foot home run near you. Harper might start the season in the minors, but expect a Tebow like fervour to get him up to the bigs. The kid can flat out rake.

2. The first no hitter of the 2012 season.

1. Because there is every chance the new Red Sox manager might just be their craziest one yet. Doubt it for even half a second? Well, check this out.

Links.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

The second coming =Tim Tebow definitely traded to the Jets this time

What a crazy day in the NFL. First the league absolutely nukes the Saints chances of playing a home Superbowl this coming season by suspending head coach Sean Payton for the season, for his involvement in the disgraceful 'Bounty Gate'. Second, Tim Tebow gets traded from the Broncos to the Jets. Then the trade falls through. Then, and we make no apology for the pun here, the trade gets resurrected a second time. This time Tebow is really going to the Jets.

The trade is just a complete noodle-scratcher. Tebow to the Jets? Seriously? Whilst it might be a decent potential move for the man himself, it is almost impossible to see the logic the Jets as a team applied to this trade. Let's get this straight, we are not 'having a go' at Tebow here. The Jets are the ones that have opened themselves up to ridicule. It's not as if Tebow came cheap. To secure the deal New York had to agree to pay $5 million in extra bonus money that otherwise Denver would have had to have paid.

As practically everyone knows, the Jets have just forked out almost $60 million to Sanchez, and just signed up another backup QB too, Drew Stanton.

We haven't even touched on the hysteria.
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It is all well and good to say 'Well, Tebow can simply back Sanchez up', however anyone who thinks that is going to fly seems to have forgotten the kind of hysteria that seems to follow Tebow and his saintly image around the United States. People in Denver hired actual billboards trying to influence the team to start him! You think New York is going to remain calm about this? Actually, has anyone checked in on New York tonight? Is it even still there, or did it simply implode under the weight of expectation at word of this trade?

They might have to build a whole new New York when all of this is said and done.

The effect on Sanchez himself can go one of two ways, It could galvanize the thin-skinned QB into action, or it could absolutely crush him under the pressure. Now, you all saw Mark Sanchez play last season. If you had to place a wager on which way the situation might go, would you go for the former or the latter? I know which I would pick anyway!

Thirdly, isn't New York supposed to be trying to calm things down? Didn't their season completely tear itself apart amidst locker room controversy and the kind of chinese whispers that would make a gossip column blush? This is the answer? Bring the Tebow circus to town? Isn't Rex Ryan supposed to be diverting attention away from his ball club, in order to give it a chance to breathe, and to get away from seasons of suffocation self hype and impossible expectations? This showboat of a trade is the answer to the Jets problems, really?

You know what, good for them. Good for the Jets. You just want to stand there like some guy on the Titanic, slow clapping facetiously as the boat hits the iceberg, droning sarcastically, 'Oh, well done, just, great job, well done''.

This whole situation is about to end about as well as the Titanic's first voyage too.

Not fabulously.

Links.