What’s in a Derek Jeter gift basket?

The New York Post and other are ‘reporting’ that Derek Jeter is giving out gift baskets to the women who stay for sleepovers at his exclusive home. We’re suitably intrigued. 

Derek Jeter

First things first, we often drop a little sarcasm on your here in 'From the bleachers', and we have occasionally tried to sneak a couple of fake stories past you, our lovely readers, however we bring you this one in all truth and honesty, despite the fact it seems exactly as if it were in our sarcastic wheel-house.

You might expect the following headline in a newspaper in Boston or anywhere else that has a strong anti New York Yankee fan-base, however for a New York paper to print this is, to say the least, a little odd. We give you one of the lead headlines in the NY Post today; 

Jeter gives autograph swag to one-night stands

Someone get on to the good people at The Pulitzer Awards, tell them to hold on to the 2013 votes until this story plays out. The Post reports that since Yankee legend Derek Jeter split from Minka Kelly he has been entertaining a proportionately large number of ladies in his ‘Trump World Tower bachelor pad’. It is debatable whether this on its own would constitute news even on a slow day however add the fact that apparently the ladies go home with a Derek Jeter gift basket and suddenly we are on to something.

Funniest exposé within has to be the fact that Jeter lost count at one stage and gave one lucky young lady the gift basket twice, forgetting she had indeed been an earlier conquest. We’re guessing that amongst the Jeter groupie posse this might be known as ‘doubling-up’.

What we are most curious about, apart from the question as to why any superstar would want to play in New York and have to deal with the back stabbing vampires journalists in the Post, is what on earth makes up the contents of a Derek Jeter ‘Thank-You’ gift basket? The only element we are sure about, confirmed by the Posts’s crack team of reporters, is a Derek Jeter autographed baseball.

Apart from that, what are we talking here? Breath mints? Deodorant? A mouth wash? A complimentary 10% off your next Pizza at Jeter’s favourite Pizzeria, Ninos?

Jeter’s Irish mother would no doubt be proud of her generous son

At the end of the day, when all is said and done, next time you are purchasing an autographed Derek Jeter baseball on the Internet, just remember how much effort went into obtaining that little gem.

Yankees gift basket - throw in a breath mint and you have a Jeter gift basket

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Get your World Series tickets! Only $96,000 each!

Tickets to Game one of the World Series at Fenway Park, between the Boston Red Sox and the St Louis Cardinals are available at $96,000. Please note you are currently limited to a maximum of 24. If you could have your $2.3 million ready before you click 'Buy', that would be great.

The Red Sox are contesting the World Series
starting Wednesday night

The World Series starts Wednesday in Boston, and the home town Red Sox are marginal favorites to take their third title since 2004. Should a body fancy attending this potentially momentous event, the super great news is that there are approximately 2,000 tickets available for the game, mostly through re-sellers such as StubHub.

Plenty of World Series tickets available

The slightly less great news is that the tickets are selling for around the $96,000 mark.

Let's let that sink in for a second.

$96,000.

$96,000 tickets

We have contacted StubHub to ask if anyone actually purchases tickets that cost just a shade below $100,000, we will update this post when and if they reply.

In the meantime, brother, can you spare a dime, or $96,000?


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Will Ferrell presents Dodgers Lineup before NLCS Game 5

Saturday Night Live comedian turned movie superstar gives his take on the Dodgers lineup. Spoiler alert: It's hilarious.

Will Ferrell yucks it up with the Dodgers pre game

The Dodgers might want to make this 'a thing'. Prior to their crucial, win-or-go-home National League Championship game 5 last night against the Cardinals, comedian Will Ferrell presented the Dodgers lineup.

Needless to say, it was pretty funny.




Obviously, having the big guy read the lineups out worked from a sports karma perspective, with the Dodgers scoring a crucial win in the series. Game 6 is Friday night in St Louis, and the Dodgers have Clayton Kershaw and his .047 post season era on the hill.

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Strikeback Sunday: Big Papi drives the Red Sox back from the brink

On a spectacular sports Sunday for Boston fans, perhaps the biggest moment of all came with one swing of David Ortiz's bat.

Big Papi loses one in the bleachers

It will go down with the great, iconic Boston Red Sox moments of years gone by. Essentially no matter what happens through the rest of this Boston and Detroit series, the home run that David Ortiz hit last night will be remembered for a long, long time.

No point in teasing you, if you haven't seen it as yet, here it is.




Incredibly, this was the fifth time Big Papi tied or gave the Sox the lead in the eighth inning or later in the postseason. Most players would be happy to do that once in their career. For David Ortiz, it's beccoming something of a habit. "It seemed like old hat for Dave," catcher David Ross said. "I would have been like a little school girl running around the bases if I had would have done that. And he trotted around like it was nothing."

The Big Papi home-run trot

For the Tigers, it was a perfect storm that unravelled on them in the 8th inning. Many in Detroit will be second guessing manager Jim Leyland’s decision to remove Max Scherzer before the inning even started, despite the fact he was on 108 pitches. The relief pitchers who followed all failed in some form or another: Veras, Smyly, Alburquerque, Benoit and then finally Rick Porcello in the 9th. Their failure burst the balloon that was Detroit's bullpen superiority for the series. Every single one of those guys will be pitching with doubt in his mind after last night, particularly Benoit.

Finally, former Boston defensive whizz Jose Iglesias gave his former team a hand by attempting a tricky throw, trying to get Gomes at first when he should have put the ball in his pocket, as they say. Fielder’s pathetic attempt was lazy, sure, but ‘Iggy’, as they called him in Boston, should never have made that throw.

It is amazing how the overall picture of a series can change, with a couple of pitches, a couple of swings and a bad throw. Just like that Boston are going to Detroit with a huge swing of momentum to ride on, while the Tigers have to pick up the pieces and see what they have in terms of fortitude.

What a night of sporting moments in Boston, none bigger than the blast off of Papi's bat.

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Rays manager Joe Maddon uses big word, confuses reporters.

The Tampa Bay Rays may have been dumped out of the MLB playoffs last night by the Boston Red Sox, however not before their stupefyingly intelligent and ruggedly handsome manager, Joe Maddon, made 9 pitching changes and confused reporters after the game with a gigantic word.

Joe Maddon makes one of 9 pitching changes on the night.

The Tampa Bay Devil Rays' playoff run came to a jarring halt last night, as they were dumped out of the playoffs by the Boston Red Sox. Their 1-3 defeat was of course entirely the fault of the playing staff and absolutely nothing to do with Super Genius Manager Joe Maddon. The latter pulled out all the stops in trying to lift his over-matched team past the financially superior Red Stockings.

There is literally nothing Joe 'Genius' Maddon could have done above and beyond the incredible measures he went to in trying to force a game 5 in the playoff series. Maddon turned what should have been a 3 hour game into a 5 hour marathon with an incredible 9 pitching changes. He did this because he knows better than you. He also made other shift, lineup and defensive positioning changes that we would get into but they would be too hard to explain, because, as we know, Joe Maddon is a genius.

You could try to understand the moves he makes, however, you just wouldn't be able to comprehend the sheer depth of his thinking.

It is not only the common fan that is left feeling like an idiot in the enormous wake of Joe Maddon's giant intellect.

After the game last night Maddon held court, eulogising at length about the variety of great, nay, brilliant moves he made in an attempt to win the game. During the course of the questions from the assorted press, Maddon said;

''But the way it was going in the beginning there, you could see it was not going to work. We had to do something a little bit differently. Then we became a little bit more extemporaneous at that point.''

A low, awed gasp went up among the assembled scribes, as they looked at each other, many with mouths agape. 

Maddon noticed the reaction and sat back in his chair, waving his hand regally, he sighed, 'do you need me to explain that word?' to which a couple of the press confirmed in the affirmative.

Maddon explained slowly that extemporaneousis means something that is made up or done without special preparation. ''You people might describe it as, say, 'ad-libbed', in lay mans terms''

Joe Maddon ladies and gents.

Manager.

Teacher of minds.

Genius.

Genius at work

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Tampa Bay Rays announce measures to improve attendance

The Tampa Bay Rays will finish dead last in attendance figures in Major League Baseball yet again this season. Rays owner Stuart Sternberg has announced dramatic measures that he hopes will change the teams horrific attendance figures around next year.

Yet another pathetic crowd at a Rays game

Despite making the playoff, The Tampa Bay Rays are dead last in MLB attendance figures yet again, having drawn an average of 18,646 fans per game. Every single other MLB team, even Houston and Miami, drew better than the Rays. Their inability to 'draw' has become an institutional failure of a magnitude previously only seen in comedic sports movies.

In an effort to counter this, Rays owner Stuart Sternberg is introducing sweeping measures he hopes will invigorate the Rays fan-base, and get the turnstiles clicking.

We're delighted to bring you an exclusive first-look at those same measures.

• First and foremost, all games will start at 4:30 pm. The hope is that this will 'speak-to' the timeframes that suit the Rays fan-base the most.
• Next season all Rays tickets are now going to be advertised as being 20% off.
• Further to the above point, all Rays games will all be advertised as 'The early bird Rays special'
• Ethnic food concession stands will be replaced with Country Kitchen Buffet throughout the stadium
• Each game ticket will also have a coupon attached for 'half off' a hot chocolate at the next game
• The 7th inning stretch will be replaced with the 7th inning 'quiet time'. Fans will be encouraged to close their eyes and nap for a short period, before the start of the next inning.
• Finally, the team will also formally change their name from the 'Tampa Rays' to the 'Tampa Red Yankees Sox'.

Rays baseball - get pumped!

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How the media treats two different groups of MLB performance enhancing drug abusers

Known steroid abuser hits game winning home run and the sporting media goes crazy with adulation. Odd behaviour just weeks after almost openly organising tar-and-feather mobs to chase down A-Rod. Does the media treat PED users a certain way depending what group they belong to?

Frequent readers, or, should I say, the frequent reader, of this column will know the author will never be described as a gigantic Alex Rodriguez fan. Quite the opposite in fact. However, you do have to ask what’s going on today, with this ridiculous adulation around admitted Performance Enhancing Drug (PED) user Jason Giambi.

For those of you who missed it, Giambi hit a big, game winning home run for Cleveland last night, pushing The Tribe onwards in the American League Wild Card chase. Interestingly, despite the fact that Giambi was not only heavily associated with PED abuse, he actually admitted to it, most sporting media entities are today fawning praise over him like he was the slugging version of Mariano Rivera.

Is this not hypocritical behaviour from the same group that basically drove a giant collective stake through the PED infested heart of A-Rod not so long ago? Why does Giambi get praise heaped upon him while A-Rod suffers continued criticism, ridicule and worse?

Sure, A-Rod’s steroid abuse is well documented at this stage, however so is Giambi’s. In 2007 Giambi admitted to the media that he was ‘wrong for doing that stuff.’

We’re not asking why does Giambi get a free-pass here, we’re asking why does Giambi get adulation heaped upon him? Why isn’t he subjected to the same scorn as A-Rod?

Perhaps this is just a part of a wider process.

Let’s take a look at the usual suspects, and let’s group them into two batches, A and B. Don’t get too bogged down in the ‘he said she said’ element of each individual, for better or for worse the below lists contain equal amounts of rumoured, admitted and proven PED abusers.

Group A
Brett Boone
Ken Caminiti
Eric Gagne
Kevin Brown
Mark McGwire
Ryan Braun
Andy Pettitte

Group B
Miguel Tejada
Jose Canseco
Sammy Sosa
Manny Ramirez
Alex Rodriguez
Barry Bonds

Take a look at the two groups, and then answer the following question. If you had to pick one, which group would you say is open to the more abuse, ridicule and slander, of those two? It’s no contest, right? Group A, for whatever reason, are largely treated with a kind of nodding, winking respect, a kind of parental disappointment, ‘Yes, we know you did wrong, but we still love you’.

It’s basically open season on Group B. Anything goes. A-Rod is of course the poster child of the group, and let’s face it, he has been crucified.

In no way shape or form am I defending anyone on either list. Personally I think all PED users are filthy cheats and should be banned for life and stricken from any and all record books, but, that’s just my opinion.

What is fascinating is how the individual abusers in those groups are treated by the media. My firm hypothesis would be that the individuals in Group A are treated with far, far more respect than the individuals in Group B. It is very much a different ball game as to how the players in both of those groups are described by the media.

Group A, Group B.

Tell me this, can you see the separating factor?



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Red Sox fan wakes from coma upon hearing his team are in first place

A lifelong Red Sox fan who was involved in an accident in September 2012 and went into a coma, woke suddenly and unexpectedly as relatives discussed the Red Sox first place standing at his hospital bed.

Red Sox - winning

A Boston man who has been in a coma since being involved in a bad traffic accident back in September 2012, has woken suddenly from the coma during a conversation between his relatives at his hospital bedside. Relatives of the man described the man jolting up in bed upon hearing that Boston are now 9.5 games ahead in the American League East. As the man woke slowly in front of family and friends, his first question was ‘How are the Yankees doing?’ to which a relative confirmed that New York are 12.5 games out in the East and in danger of missing the playoffs. The man, John Fitzgerald O’Shaughnessy, 34 of Charlestown, Boston, Massachusetts, fainted immediately and had to be revived a second time.

Eye witnesses say Mr Fitzgerald then listened quietly at first as friends and family slowly described how Boston, so bad in 2012 and 2011, are only a couple of wins away from officially clinching the AL East title, and now among the favourites with bookmakers to win the World Series. Reports go on to say that Mr Fitzgerald then began babbling ‘in tongues’ and had to be calmed by hospital staff.

After a short period of relaxation a somewhat calmer Mr Fitzgerald heard that the Red Sox consensus best starting pitching of the last couple of months has been John lackey, to which he replied; ‘’Okay guys, stop f*****g around, now you’re just f*****g with me.’

Mr Fitzgerald is expected to recover fully from his injuries and commented that after reading a few articles in the Boston Globe and Boston Herald on the Red Sox, he will eventually check how his wife and three children are doing.

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Which two teams will take the AL Wild Card slots?

The chase for the two American League wild card spots is hotter than Miguel Cabrera’s bat. Six teams have a realistic shot at grabbing one of the two places, and the final couple of weeks of the MLB season will be all the more exciting for that fact.

As you no doubt already know the new(ish) Wild Card system means that there are two spots available as opposed to the old version of the system in which only one team progressed through same. The two teams then play a one game playoff to see who goes on to play in the Divisional round of the playoffs-actual.

The teams in contention are (deep breath) Texas, Tampa, New York, Cleveland, Baltimore and Kansas. Yes, Kansas. The intensity of the chase comes from the fact that they are right now all within 2 games of each other in the Wild Card standings. It is entirely realistic to suggest we might see a Wild Card playoff game between Kansas and Cleveland, with ‘bigger’ clubs like Texas and New York watching from a distance as they make their off-season holiday plans.

Of the six clubs, which are the more likely to progress? Let’s chop it up.

Despite currently being the leader of the pack we are talking about, Texas are facing a tough-ask in grabbing one of the two available spots. First of all, they are on a terrible run of form. They just got swept in three games by Pittsburgh (huge red flag, an AL team being swept by an NL team at home in their own ballpark!) and are 2-8 in their last 10 games. They have 17 games left and 10 of those are against Wild Card rivals, including a crucial 4 game series in Tampa. All things considered, Texas are in deep trouble.

Speaking of Tampa, how bizarre is it tuning in to watch their crucial games against the Redsox only to see that cavernous, gaudy stadium basically empty? Their fans are nothing short of a disgrace. Their form is pretty bad too, they are 3-7 in their last 10 games and are being pushed aside by Boston as we speak. Their remaining schedule is littered with potential booby-traps. There’s the big 4 game series against Texas and then 4 against the Orioles and 3 against the Yankees. With the way they are playing right now, you can’t really back Tampa to grab one of the 2 spots with any confidence.

The Yankees are an interesting case. They are playing to a reasonable standard, 6-4 in their last 10, if you forget the recent Redsox series, they had been taking care of business up to that point. The forthcoming weekend series against Boston will of course tell us a lot about their chances, and they have Kuroda, Sabathia and Nova lined up for that. The fact is, whatever they do in that series, they then face a pretty soft remaining schedule. 9 games against bottom-feeders Toronto, San Francisco and Houston are potentially the Yankees ticket to the playoffs. There is a series against Tampa too in there to worry about, but all in all you would have to think the Yankees can win at least 10 of their remaining 16 games and potentially pass both Tampa and Texas on the basis of that alone.

Cleveland are having a great season and despite a little 2 game losing streak are in good form (6-4 in their last 10) at just the right time. They are facing nothing short of a cake-walk of a remaining schedule too, with 14 games against the White Sox, Astros and Twins. They have 6 alone against the White Sox and you have to fancy them to win 4 of those at least, with as bad as Chicago are playing. They should take 11 or 12 of their remaining games and with that push themselves up the Wild Card standings.

We’ll call it right now, the Orioles are not going to the Wild Card playoff. It just isn’t happening. Sure, the 6 games against the abysmal Blue Jays on their run in look juicy. However, the 11 remaining games against New York, Boston and Tampa are the reason the Orioles will not be playing playoff baseball this season. The fact is they have to pass 4 different teams to grab the last 2 spots, and with that schedule ahead of them that just isn’t happening.

Finally, Kansas have had a fantastic season thus far, and they are playing good baseball just when it matters most, 7-3 in their last 10. The problem for them is they have to pass 5 teams to make the playoff, and they face 9 very difficult games against Detroit, Cleveland and Texas. Their only chance is if they survive those 9 and then blast their way through a remaining 7 games against Seattle and Chicago. It could happen, sure, but the odds are against them. They are simply running out of schedule.

Overall analysis?

Cleveland and New York have a great chance of facing each other in the Wild Card playoff game. Cleveland are playing good ball and have a very straight forward remaining schedule. The Yankees have a tricky few games against Boston and Tampa but after that they face a 9 game run-in against some of the Majors worst teams.

However, any which way you chalk it up, the remaining couple of weeks should be fascinating.




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Watch 4-year-old Darla Holloway sing "God Bless America" at Fenway Park (VIDEO)

Tired of reading about Miley Cyrus's latest moronic stunt? Jaded hearing about which drugs Aaron Hernandez may or may not have been into?  Watch 4 year old hero Darla Holloway singing "God Bless America" at Fenway Park and have your faith in humanity restored somewhat.

4 year old Darla Holloway - a better role model than many of today's 'stars'

Let's face it, we are surrounded right now by athletes, entertainers and other stars who are not worthy of the title Role Model. They are all around us and they are given exposure completely and utterly disproportionate to their true value to the human race.

It's safe to say most of us are completely jaded right now.

Every so often something simple, pure and worthy of our attention does actually come along, and something along those very lines occurred at Fenway Park in Boston last night.

The Boston Red Sox host a variety of stars and regular citizens nightly at Fenway during a traditional seventh inning rendition of the song "God Bless America''. Last night Darla Holloway, a 4-year-old girl battling acute lymphoblastic leukemia, stepped up to the plate, figuratively speaking, and, did this.



No fuss, no drama, and excuse the language but, no bullshit either. Just an honest, beautifully accurate and heart rousingly stirring rendition of an old song. It doesn't matter what your politics are, it shouldn't even matter what the song was, and it definitely shouldn't matter if you are a Red Sox fan or not. Little Darla is a true role model, and, an amazing little girl.

This, contextually, is a terrifically cathartic experience after the initial internet\entertainment start to this week.

You want to say 'More please', however as the great Irish poet Patrick Kavanagh once wrote;

We have tested and tasted too much, lover-
Through a chink too wide there comes in no wonder.

.. and he was right, something special like this will only come along once in a while. So just enjoy it, soak it in, and think about little Darla and her bravery, as opposed to all the other trash the media is trying to sell us right now.

What a little star.

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Do the right thing, Alex

As we approach another long, drawn out Alex Rodriguez 'situation', the much maligned slugger can do the baseball loving World a favour and lay down arms, surrender and try his hand at something else

. 

It's all about A-Rod

By now you probably have a general idea of the basics. If you are an adult male aged 17-70 and are in possession of an Internet browser and a pulse, you are probably a quasi-expert on the latest A-Rod situation. You have no choice really but to be, because once again A-Rod is holding us hostage to his unique brand of fraud, drama and bullshit.

In short, A-Rod is in trouble yet again. His name has been linked in the same report that ‘got’ Ryan Braun, the Biogenesis scandal (no, this has nothing to do with an alternative rock band started in the 70s by Peter Gabriel, this is all about needles and drugs).

The battle lines have been drawn and the first volley of shots are about to be fired. Word is MLB, frustrated by A-Rod’s refusal to take a plea bargain type deal for a lesser sentence, are prepared to throw the proverbial book at the goofy slugger. Apparently commissioner Bud Selig is prepared to use Article XI, Section A1b of the collective bargaining agreement “to effectively keep Rodriguez from ever returning to the field by bypassing the grievance procedure outlined in the joint drug program [that] MLB operates in conjunction with the Players’ Association,” Rodriguez would be suspended immediately for violating the “integrity of the game” and would later get a suspension for violating the drug program. MLB are not only accusing A-Rod of ‘roiding up’, they are also accusing him of intimidating witnesses and buying documents that incriminated him, rather than letting them fall into the hands of investigators.

In short, A-Rod is up to his neck in filth, and MLB wants to absolutely slate him for it.

The initial word from the A-Rod camp is he is going to fight the entire process every single inch of the way.

That’s A-Rod all over though isn’t it? All through his career A-Rod has been about himself first. His stats, his ‘legacy’, his money. It is no coincidence that he has been hated by players and fans alike at every single club he has played for.

Make no mistake about it, every single fan base he has graced with his reverse-Midas touch carries a special kind of hatred for the man. Whatever you do, don’t mention the name A-Rod to Seattle Mariners fans. If you recall, they showered the money grabbing slugger with dollar bills when he showed his face in Seattle after leaving for one of his many big pay days. His own team-mates in Texas openly mocked him, giving him a couple of nicknames, take your pick from ‘Bitch tits’ or ‘The Cooler’. The latter is the perfect description of A-Rod at the time, alluding to the Vegas hey-day ‘coolers’ that pit bosses employed to ‘cool off’ hot tables.

In other words, A-Rods team-mates in Texas nicknamed him based on his ability to cool off a rally.

They weren’t exactly showering him with love now, were they?

New York? A-Rod has been through the full range of emotions with both the fans and his team mates in New York. The Yankees have thus far successfully managed to protect their clubhouse details, however previous leaks have suggested A-Rod is basically on his own in there, having taken on Jeter and others once too often. The fans? If A-Rod does come back, his first 0-10 stretch will show us how the fans in the Big Apple feel about A-Rod.

Spoiler alert: Boo!

Perhaps no fans base detests A-Rod with more gleeful passion than Boston’s, and with understandable reason too. Need we remind you of the time A-Rod tried to slap the ball out of Arroyo’s mitt? Being so entrenched together in the AL East, RedSox fans have had a front row seat to the daily circus that has been A-Rod’s reign of terror in New York. Boston and Toronto fans don’t often see eye-to-eye however, the night A-Rod shouted ‘Got it!’ as he rounded third in Toronto, that night, we were all Blue jays fans.

Could A-Rod perhaps make something useful out of this and call his amazing ability to unite disparate fan bases against him a positive thing? A tangible skill?

As we cruise headlong towards this undoubtedly horrific car crash that will be MLB v A-Rod, round 12, you have to wonder, what kind of happiness or enjoyment could the latter be getting from this dance, at this stage? Sure, he is obviously going to fight this to protect his 'earnings' for the next few years, however, A-Rod already has enough money to buy Saudi Arabia. How on earth does he think this is going to end well, and why is he seemingly happy to go head to head with Bud Selig and his goons, and fight a long drawn out battle where his name will be, once more, dragged through the mud. 

Wouldn't A-Rod be saving a lot of people, himself included, a lot of time and effort, if he just called a halt to the madness and stopped trying to pretend he is clean. 

We all know you are filthy A-Rod, straight up dirty.

Do the right thing Alex. Retire. Go away, go spend your money and let us enjoy our game again, without having to suffer through another one of your introverted, painful stunts.

A-Rod - he's boring himself at this stage

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Breaking news: Alfonso Soriano traded to New York in return for a 6 x 4 of Kate Upton in a Yankees cap

Yankees manage to trade for prized slugger in return for a glossy picture of the New York fan, Kate Upton. 

The Kate Upton picture sent by the Yankees to the Cubs in return for Soriano

The New York Yankees and the Chicago Cubs have agreed on a trade where slugger Alfonso Soriano is heading to the team from The Big Apple while in return the team from The Windy City is receiving a framed 6x4 picture of model Kate Upton, wearing a New York Yankees baseball cap.

The picture of Upton is just the feature part of the deal. The Yankees will also receive Soriano, $17 million towards his $24 million 2014 salary and a lower-tier pitching prospect from the Cubs. Chicago will receive the glossy picture of Ms Upton, a $50 voucher for Bubba Gump’s Shrimp House in Time Square, two upper deck, restricted view tickets to a Yankees v Astros game on a Tuesday night next season and a day pass to the New York Museum of Mathematics.

MLB experts are suggesting the Cubs have come out slightly better in the trade, despite Soriano’s 17 HRs and 52 RBIs in 2013 thus far.

Chicago Cubs general manager Theo Epstein said; ‘’I just feel like we’ve got the best we could out of this deal with the Yankees. Have you seen the picture? It’s really nice, and they even laminated it for us, which I thought was pretty classy.’’

Some Cubs fans were a little upset that Chicago didn’t get more for the trade. Joe Punter, a Chicago resident, said ‘’I just feel like we coulda pressed the Yankees for a bit more, like maybe a picture of her in her bikini? Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great pic, I’m just saying.’

Could the Cubs have got more from the deal?

Of course some clubs are exasperated at what they perceive to be the New York Yankees continued ability to collect quality players off of other teams in return for scrap, or, in this case, a picture of Kate Upton in a baseball cap. The Boston Redsox GM Ben Cherrington has come out strongly against the trade, suggesting that the Cubs should have held out for more.

Cherrington said ‘’This situation is absolutely ridiculous, a Major League slugger with those kind of impact stats traded for a picture of Kate Upton? The league obviously doesn’t care that the Yankees basically get what they want for nothing. You can’t tell me that Theo (Epstein) shouldn’t have held out for a signed bikini, or something creative, like a date with Kate, or something?’’

Reached for comment, MLB commissioner Bud Selig would only say; ‘’I just don’t think we need to look into this, I mean, have you seen the picture?’’

Alfonso Soriano or something, whatever.

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Toronto Blue Jays relegated to the minor leagues

Major League Baseball kick starts new ‘relegation’ system between Major and Minor league baseball, using Toronto as it’s guinea pig

Blue Jays having fun in outfield

 Buried in last place in the ultra-competitive AL East, almost 10 games under .500 and fresh off yet another embarrassing loss to the Dodgers, the Toronto Blue Jays have been hit with fresh humiliation, as Major League Baseball has decided to relegate them to AAA Minor League Baseball.

The Blue Jays were once again humiliated by the Dodgers last night, this time blowing a big lead late in the game to sink 14.5 games behind in the race for the AL East. The Blue Jays spent millions of dollars in the offseason and were expected to challenge not only for the American League but also for the World Series. Instead they will spend next season battling young baseball players in the Minor Leagues.

MLB has announced the Blue Jays will be allowed finish the season in the Majors but will start next season in the Minor Leagues.

Bud Selig told reporters ‘We just felt like now was the perfect time to bring in this format, with the changes to the BCS playoff system coming soon and with the NFL possibly going to 18 games, we wanted to keep things fresh and interesting’ He went on to add ‘Plus, have you seen them (Toronto) play lately? They are awful!’

The Blue Jays held a closed, players only meeting before last night’s game and the word is the players are unhappy at the prospect of taking buses and playing in front of tiny crowds in small stadiums in the Minors.  Pitcher R.A. Dickey is reportedly writing a book about the decision.

Manager John Gibbons could not be reached for comment, although he was seen sitting in the dugout surfing Monster.com on his iPad.

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The flaws in the plan: Despite record, Redsox need change to compete

The Redsox may have just won the series against their arch rivals New York and may own the best record in Major League baseball, however big changes are required if they are to be competitive in the playoffs

Mike Napoli wins the night

Yes, the end of the Yankees series came with a happy ending. Yes, Boston owns the best record in all of baseball. And yes, a series win against Tampa this week would provide a little separation from the AL East pack. However, all of this comes with a massive caveat. The fact of the matter is, the Redsox will not be doing anything meaningful in October unless they make some serious changes before the trading deadline passes.

We’re not talking small changes here. Sure there are plenty of tweaks that can be, and should be, made, however the below is a list of changes that simply have to happen if the Redsox are to be competitive going into the 2013 MLB playoffs.

Three things in particular need to happen.

The bullpen needs the addition of at least two outstanding arms. The pen held up admirably over the weekend, however it represents something of a creaking old ship, which could sink at any moment given a slight change in conditions. Right now the only Sox bullpen piece you would truly trust in October baseball would have to be Koji Uehara. Nobody ever won a World Series with a bullpen that consisted of Craig Breslow, Junichi Tazawa, Matt Thornton, Drake Britton, Pedro Beato and Jose De La Torre. It is simply not possible. The two Andrew’s, Bailey and Miller, are enormous losses and the Sox have to replace them. Uehara is an effective and indeed exciting closer, but the Sox need a couple of power, swing-and-miss arms as a bridge to the high fiving closer, or they are not going to be winning anything of note in 2013.

We’re not talking ‘nice prospects’ coming up from the minors here. We’re talking impact, game winning arms. Jonathan Papelbon and K-Rod (Francisco Rodriguez) would appeal. Both are available also, with the Phillies and Brewers having effectively nothing to play for this season.

Papelbon is basically the same as when he departed Boston, with a few more miles on the tyres. He is still effective, and would obviously fit right in to the team and the town itself. K-Rod is intriguing. His velocity is down but he is still throwing 90-93 with a cartoon curve ball and the savvy of a veteran pitcher his age. He would be a welcome addition as a setup man or possibly even closer, although it is debatable if he is an upgrade on Koji or not.

Second, the Redsox have to trade for a front line starter. Again, similar to the bullpen issue, we’re not talking ‘nice’ 4th or 5th starter here, no young up and comers need apply. We’re talking second or third rotation piece preferably. Having said that, why not aim high? Chase an ace and see what you come up with. Let’s face facts, the Redsox rotation is a nasty, sloppy mess right now, held together by smoke and mirrors. The current ace? John Lackey, and deservedly so, he has been showing Sox fans exactly what he can do when healthy (and slim!). After that?

Brandon Workman is a nice, high upside, starter for the future but he is a 4th or 5th spot starter in the rotation at best. More cannot be expected of him at this early age.  We are not talking a Ryan Dempster type either here. Dempster is doing his admirable best, but if Boston are going up against the finest arms in baseball in October, with Dempster starting, we’re in trouble. The Sox won last night because they scored 8 runs, not because of Dempster, who did, to his credit, stop the Yankees from cashing in on some early base runners. We need more come October however.

Jake Peavy would be interesting, is throwing 91/92 and knows his way around a 7 inning quality start. He would fit in beautifully behind Bucholz with Lester and himself fighting over the 2nd spot in the rotation. Cliff Lee might be available, and the Sox should at least kick the tyres on that one, to see if anything is going. Whilst we’re dreaming, even someone like Felix Hernandez has a price. Seattle could no doubt be blown away with the right package.  The point is, the Redsox need top notch starting pitching, and they need it now.

Finally, and we hate to stick the fork in here, but the Redsox need a catcher.

Unless the Redsox bury Jarrod Saltalamacchia in the 9 hole and put stock in his admitted ability to handle the Sox diverse pitching staff, they are not going to get any further value from Saltalamacchia. He basically has two things going for him, every once in a blue moon he steps into a poorly located fastball and parks it in the bleachers, and as we said, he does appear to be good with the pitchers.

Apart from that, he is basically useless. Saltalamacchia cannot stop a running game, and his attempts to do so are increasingly embarrassing. His bat is completely ineffective particularly recently. In the last 30 days Saltalamacchia has hit zero home runs and has a paltry 9 RBIs in 66 at bats. His average of .240 in that spell sums him up perfectly. Not absolutely awful, but, close.

We do have to be somewhat careful here as it is important that a team’s pitchers trust and indeed ‘like’ their catcher, and the Redsox pitchers seems to hold Salty in high esteem. Perhaps the Sox could, as we said, bury Salty in the 9 hole and hope his influence on the pitchers is worth his black hole offensive stats.

The fact is though, an impact catcher who can fill up the 6 or 7 hole in the order with authority, would push the Sox closer to being a contender.

And, at the end of the day, that’s what it’s all about, right? Winning this damn thing.


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Chipper Jones outs himself as flaming racist

Former Braves star, famous for 18-month extramarital affair with a Hooters waitress which produced a son, shows incredible lack of sensitivity and shocking grasp of basic English language skills in wildly racist Tweet

Chipper Jones

What is it about the Atlanta Braves? Don't they do sensitivity training down there? We all remember John Rocker, but, now Chipper Jones has thrown his stetson firmly into the 'outrageously racist' ring with an unbelievably immature, insensitive and racist Tweet.

The Jones Tweet - no doubt soon to be deleted from his account

Where do you start with this? First of all, the very people he is mocking probably have a better grasp of the English language than Jones. Sure, people abbreviate on Twitter, but there's abbreviation and there's 'wud'. Secondly, his choice of target, an ethnic minority group, is cowardly. Jones come across as a school yard bully.

No doubt he thinks this is all hilarious, Jones kills harmless animals for fun (he calls hunting a pastime of his) so we should not be too shocked if he thinks this Tweet is funny. The only shock is he was able to get his knuckles high enough off the ground to type.

The saddest part of all this? Not one sports media entity has taken Jones to task on this as yet.

Perhaps he is just too white and famous.


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The top 50 highest paid athletes list is a cesspit of wasted money

Sports Illustrated's list of the top 50 highest paid athletes in the United States is full of names that will surprise and or shock you

The immortal Carl Crawford

Sports Illustrated's recently released lists of the top paid athletes in sports is well worth a look.

Fascinatingly SI have separated their lists into two, a United States list, and an international list. This separation perhaps unexpectedly provides a look into the soul of American sports. Much as we all love it, it's not always pretty.

I would argue the top eight athletes in the list are acceptable, from the point of view of value for salary. Every athlete in the top eight belongs in this list, it is hard to argue the impact and value of LeBron, Drew Brees, Kobe, Peyton Manning and so on.

From the 9 spot in the order we see problems start to arise. Alex Rodriguez is the 9th highest paid athlete in sports in the United States. That's right, A-Rod. Right after the man most to blame for the horrific logjam on the New York Yankees payroll comes perhaps the most overpaid individual on the list. Zach Greinke is good, sure, but unless you were his Dad, can you look me in the eye and say he should be the 10th highest athlete in sports in the USA? Forget athletes from other sports, there are literally dozens of MLB pitchers who should be ahead of Greinke in terms of annual earnings.

The rest of the list is a scrap heap of carnage. Take a deep breath, and, know that Alfonso Soriano, Barry Zito, Carl Crawford, Vernon Wells, Carl Nicks, Mario Williams, Johan Santana and A-Rod are all part of the top 50 highest earning athletes in the United States this year.

Soriano, Crawford and Wells (Vernon Wells, seriously!) are all laughable or chilling entries in the list, depending if you find the fact that people are paying them hundreds of millions of dollars to play sports funny or scary.

Whatever about those, Joe Johnson, Dwight Howard, Matt Schuab, Vincent Jackson and Zach Greinke might be decent athletes, but come on, seriously, top 50 paid athletes in the entire United States?

Those are just the most egregious names on the list. You could probably argue half a dozen more or so.

Compare that with the international list.

I'll give you David Beckham, he's questionable at best, and right at the top of the list. You could argue he is currently on the books of a hot French side (PSG) and is still very much 'significant' in the world of soccer, but he really doesn't represent value as the highest paid athlete in international sports.

After that though the list is pretty tight. Most, if not all of the rest of the athletes on the international list are worthy of their spot, and most if not all are at least close to the top of their respective games.

Put it this way, there is nobody like Carl Crawford stinking up the International list.

What does this all tell us?

In short, it suggests strongly that the system is, if not broken, seriously damaged in the United States. The best athletes are not the highest paid athletes. The highest paid athletes list in the USA is infected with a large percentage of players who are are broken, cheating, underachieving losers, clogging up the list with dead dollars.

Dead, wasted dollars.

I am sorry if it offends him or his 7 remaining fans, but in no universe is it logical to have Vernon Wells as one of the top 50 highest paid athletes.

Perhaps most worryingly of all, it does not appear that anyone gives a damn.


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Was the Anibal Sanchez trade worth it for the Redsox?

Last night Anibal Sanchez struck out 17 Braves. As he shines for the Tigers, Redsox followers have to consider, was the 2005 trade that sent him and Hanley Ramirez to Florida worth it?

Anibal Sanchez in his Redsox minor league days

Mention Jeff Bagwell and Redsox fans old enough to remember shudder involuntarily. Bagwell was a hot prospect in the Boston minor league system until he was traded for the somewhat-less-than-immortal relief pitcher Larry Anderson in 1990. Anderson played but one season in Ye Old Towne. Bagwell went on to smash 449 home runs in a glittering Major League career. That trade has quite literally haunted an entire generation of Redsox fans.

Last night Tigers pitcher Anibal Sanchez submitted a Pedro Martinez like performance in striking out 17 Atlanta batters in just 8 innings during Detroit's 10-0 win. Where do Boston come in to the picture? As recently as 2005 Boston traded both Sanchez and Hanley Ramirez to the Florida Marlins for Josh Beckett and Mike Lowell.

Immediately after reading that you can ascertain that the trade was nothing as poor for Boston as the Bagwell debacle (from the talent mentioned). However, if it wasn't an absolutely terrible trade, then what was it for the Redsox? Good, bad or in-between?

First things first, the trade accomplished exactly what Boston wanted in the short run. In 2007 the Redsox added another World Series title to the one they won in '04, and both Beckett and Lowell were a huge part of that victory, and both were the toast of the town.

Josh Beckett, already something of a favourite in Boston for leading the Marlins past the Yankees in the 2003 World Series, set the tone with a dominant game one outing, striking out 9 batters and generally over powering the Rockies. Mike Lowell ended up with the Series MVP award (and to this day continues to be a wildly popular Redsox player, even in retirement).

How did the major two Sox farm system trade pieces pan out for the Marlins? Sanchez is full of promise, as indicated by his 17 strikeout showing last night. Hanley Ramirez is a bit of an enigma. He has fallen out with managers for a perceived lack of hustle, and has spent a considerable amount of time on the disabled list also. Put it this way, despite his, ahem, massive talent, he is no Jeff Bagwell. Not yet anyway.

There is also another element to consider from the Redsox point of view.

In the great Boston clear-out of 2012, the Sox front office managed to get away with dumping the enormous salaries of Adrian Gonzalez, Carl Crawford and Josh Beckett on the Dodgers. Not only did they get rid of questionable clubhouse personalities, they also cleared up a huge chunk of free-agency change for the 2013 season.

Apart from the financial success of the trade with the Dodgers, Boston also managed to land a few decent players in return (Allen Webster and Rubby De La Rosa look like particularly tasty pitching prospects in particular).

So, adding it all up, after trading away Sanchez and Ramirez, Boston won the World Series, eventually dumped Beckett's big salary, and have grabbed at least two excellent prospects through doing so.

Anibal Sanchez is going to be a decent-to-good front-line starter for the Tigers for the next 5 years, however, adding the fact that Hanley Ramirez can't stay healthy and taking into consideration how Boston got the most out of Beckett and Lowell, you can really only come to the conclusion that the trade was definitely still very beneficial for Boston.

One thing you can definitely say, it was also definitely no Bagwell situation part two.

No one can deny Beckett got the job done in his early Boston days

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The Boston Red Sox open 2013 with a bang

The Red Sox showcase surprisingly effective youthful talent and a diverse, powerful range of bullpen arms in shocking 8-2 opening day win in New York

Jon Lester kept the Yankees swinging and missing all day long

Coming into the 2013 MLB season most seasoned Boston Red Sox fans were basically hoping for a tiny glimmer of hope. After the abject disasters of '11 and '12, Sox fans were basically hoping that the team would be somewhat competitive and would show some signs of life to cling on to going forward.

The message appeared to be, 'Guys, just don't embarrass yourselves.'

Well, if yesterday's outing in the Bronx is anything to go by, this Red Sox team might exceed all expectations, even the loftier ones. The Sox young, diverse team didn't just beat the Yankees, they crushed them. The 8-2 scoreline was actually flattering to the Yankees.

The hosts for the afternoon looked old, tired and flat. The Yankees highly paid veteran 30-something club watched from the bench (Jeter, A-Rod, Granderson and Texiera, all injured) as Jon Lester and the Red Sox simply cut through Yankee stadium like a knife through butter.

The two starters for the day embodied the entire story. Spring outings for Jon Lester suggested he might be reacting well to the appointment of John Farrell as Red Sox skipper. His velocity is up, his mechanics no longer look an issue and his sparkling competitive edge of old seems to be back. Meanwhile, CC Sabathia looked old, tired and anything but an opening day ace. While Lester regularly hit 94/95 mph (even as high as 97), Sabathia struggled to maintain 89, hovering around the 88/87 mark.

Whatever about Lester's dominance, the story of the day was no doubt the emergence of Jackie Bradley Jnr, Boston's dynamic, exciting 22 year old rookie outfielder. The road to success in the majors is littered with the decaying corpses of over hyped young players that didn't make it, however Bradley appears to have all the tools, the demeanour and perhaps most importantly the support to cut it at this level.

He was a constant thorn in the Yankee's sides, and proved a wild hit in his first Major League start.

The Boston bullpen was another glossy bonus on opening day. Obviously there is a long way to go, but the Red Sox showcased a very diverse selection of arms yesterday afternoon, with an exclamation mark of power behind the gun-slinging convoy of talented bullpen crew. After Lester held the Yankees down, the bullpen kept their collective foot on the Yanks throat. A combination of Uehara, Miller, Bailey, Tazawa and finally Hanrahan kept the Bronx Bombers to just the one hit.

Hanrahan showed a tantalising glimpse of what might be a solidifying of the closer position in Boston for the first time since Papelbon took his circus to Philly.

All in all, a very gratifying day for Boston fans. Perhaps the most enjoyable aspect of all is that the bar for the 2013 season was set so low that even a small percentage of yesterday's outing carrying over the rest of the season would mean a year that could probably be deemed a success.

The Red Sox celebrate winning game one against the Yankees

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Manny Ramirez makes his debut in Taiwan

Believe it or not, Manny Ramirez is now plying his trade for the EDA Rhinos, a Taiwanese team in the Chinese professional baseball league.

Yeah, this is going to end well. Manny being Manny, in Taiwan.

This is not a dream. This is reality. Manny Ramirez, yes, that Manny Ramirez, is now playing professional baseball in the Chinese baseball league. He is playing for the EDA Rhinos, one of the four Taiwanese teams that ply their trade in the Chinese Professional Baseball League. Ramirez is earning the equivalent of approximately $25,000 a month to play, although you can bet there are other benefits. For example, we doubt he is paying for his accommodation and there appears to be some sort of ‘daily stipend’ involved, which is probably bigger than you or my monthly salary anyway.

Put it this way, we highly doubt Manny Ramirez is playing baseball in Taiwan and China for $25,000 a month alone.

Manny has his debut under his belt now, making it all official. In this historic encounter (anything involving the words ‘Manny Ramirez’ and ‘Chinese baseball league’ in the same sentence can be called historic) the Rhinos lost to the ‘Brother Elephants’ (once again, this is not a dream, this is all reality) 8-9. Ramirez went 2 for 6 with two singles. The capacity crowd of 20,000 Rhinos fans greeted his every move with a fondness and admiration normally kept for puppies doing something cute.

Manny’s first hit in Chinese professional baseball came in the second inning. We have it for you right here, and yes, you are welcome.








What does Manny make of all this? There are unconfirmed reports that the dreadlocked slugger and former World Series winner thought his agent said 'Toledo' (not Taiwan) and agreed to the deal on that basis. Whilst this report is not confirmed, this is the same player who once sent a car out for valet service with over $250,000 in uncashed pay checks in the glove compartment.

So, you do the maths.



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