Roman and Suleiman carve it up: Tottenham's indignation at the twist in Willian transfer is naive at best.

Tottenham are furious today with the news Chelsea have 'stolen' former Anzhi player Willian from them. Their own naivety and stupidity aside, nobody should be shocked by the turn of events as it comes born of a system of billionaire ownership which we all enable, validate and indeed celebrate.

Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich

Roman and Suleiman carve it up

By Mac

We followed the news all week, overloaded and overblown as always on the usual social networks. 'Willian on way to Spurs medical', 'Willian will sign for Spurs in next 10 minutes' and so forth. The initial narrative of this story line was that Liverpool were disappointed to miss out on the former Anzhi player and Spurs were delighted to maneuver into a position to obtain same.

Those following the Anzhi and Willian storyline will have been waiting for a sudden turn of events, and we certainly got one with news that Chelsea and owner Roman Abramovich have swooped in at the last moment and snapped the midfielder up from right in front of Tottenham's nose.

Of course now Spurs are disgusted, and putting on some sort of hurt-child act via the press. Oh, woe is us, how did this happen to us, big, mean, bad Roman and his club nabbing 'our' player from in front of our very eyes.

Give it a rest, Spurs.

First of all, please God do not pretend you haven't or wouldn't pull this very same act if you were in a position to do so. If Spurs are pretending that all their transfer work this and other seasons would stand up to close scrutiny, well then, they really think we are more stupid than we look.

Secondly, anyone following the breakup of Willian's former club Anzhi Makhachkala, which we reported to you back on August 8th, should fully have been expecting some kind of twist to events. A hugely rich football club owner, Suleiman Kerimov,  decides to break his club up basically on a personal whim, and you think the transfers of the associated players is going to go normally?

If Spurs expected that, then they are the naive and stupid ones.

All that aside, How on earth is anyone shocked about this turn of events? We allow this system. In fact, we don't just allow it, we celebrate it. We laud these billionaire businessmen who swoop in and buy up our clubs for personal gain. We don't question it, we simply carry on rooting for our clubs in the same old manner, never stopping to question motives or morals.

In this case, two of those same multi gazillionaire owners have quite clearly colluded on a last minute deal that no doubt contains more than the £32 million sale we are seeing on the surface.

To some extent Spurs have a right to shake their fist a little and be indignant, but please, spare us the fake shock. This was exactly how a deal like this should go down in this day and age, in this ridiculous system. Of course a couple of wildly rich, almost completely unregulated owners, both with serious questions against them and their dubious business pasts, were always going to play the game to their own rules.

Why shouldn't they, we allow it!

This whole thing smacks a little of the disgusting Home Run chase in the late nineties in Major League Baseball. The media and adoring fans fawned as dozens of cheating players, drugged up to the hilt on Performance Enhancing Steroids, smacked historic numbers of home runs. Meanwhile Major League Baseball did absolutely nothing to stem the tide of cheating, or worse, just didn't care. They too loved the adulation, money and attention being heaped on the sport.

Football today is at the whim of not unregulated, cheating home run hitters, but unregulated, motivated, super rich and entirely self obsessed billionaire owners.

We have allowed, cheered and supported this ridiculous, illogical and selfish system where rich, egocentric business men can come in and overload certain clubs with their billions in oil, gas or other ill gotten gain money, causing a massive destabilisation of football that will become clearer in the next couple of seasons.

The funniest aspect to all of this is that some people,  in this case Spurs, come across all shocked when the fruit of this tree of ownership insanity ripens and falls to earth with a thud.

Open your eyes Spurs, modern football is rotten to the core, and we are all witnesses.



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Billionaire owner pulls the plug and 'mega' football club Anzhi Makhachkala disintegrate

Super rich owner Suleiman Kerimov decides to pull the plug on his pet Anzhi Makhachkala experiment, leaving players, staff and fans out in the cold. 

Suleiman Kerimov - Anzhi Makhachkala's owner, for now

They say breaking up is hard to do, and the good folk at Anzhi Makhachkala are about to find out if that's true.

For the last few years in particular football supporters, players, coaching staff and media have watched in a kind of glazed awe as mysterious billionaires have swerved into town in their million euro sports cars and opened suitcases full of money to buy up clubs, big and small, in all corners of the football playing World.

Occasionally these new-wave owners with their billions of dollars earned in often shady circumstances (There’s a reason Roman Abramovich has armed guards discreetly around him) have their motives, tactics and intentions questioned by the media. However this does not happen very often. Perhaps media members are afraid of being banned from the interview room.

Either way, the increase in individual billionaire owners, buying clubs both big and small seemingly on a whim has expanded exponentially and basically without check in the last five years.  Every so often a warning sign pops up that maybe, just maybe, having a volatile billionaire come in and buy up your football club isn’t the most wonderful thing after all.

Fans, players and staff are finding that out right now at Anzhi Makhachkala.

Anzhi Makhachkala. Pre-breakup

Reports are coming out that Anzhi owner Suleiman Kerimov has decided to make a few changes at the club, Those changes will include a drastic slashing of the club’s wage bill, major changes in staff, a shift to a youth policy in terms of players, and a seismic change in the club’s ambitions.

Effectively, after trying to break into the big time by buying up boatloads of high priced players and subsequently failing to do so, Anzhi are now going to do things the traditional way, you know, like any normal football club. They are going to try and build and earn their place in World football. Imagine that!

Sarcasm aside, this is a stunning development, and a huge, blaring, glaring, flashing neon warning sign to the football World as we watch these billionaire business men buy up clubs with little intention other than to serve their own greedy whim, a ridiculous, stubborn and foolhardy chase for glory obtained not by blood, sweat and tears but by dumping millions of dollars, euros and pounds on big players lawns and saying ‘come play at my club, I’ll make you rich’.

Changes at Anzhi are already underway.  Club president Konstantin Remchukov has confirmed that Anzhi will be undergoing a “serious shake-up” with a wildly reduced budget, slashed from the 180 million euro region down to 50-80 million, probably depending on how many players they can offload in the short term. On that note, Russian media are reporting that Russian international captain Igor Denisov has already agreed contracts to join Dinamo Moscow.

The staff is changing too. Former Manchester United staffer René Meulensteen is being replaced as coach just 16 days after he replaced Guus Hiddink. The latter must have sniffed change in the air, and got out well before this drama unfolded. Meulensteen never stood a snowball’s chance in hell in succeeding at Anzhi.

Why is all this happening? There are basically two views going around. Most of the Western media are portraying this as a salary-dump due to the fact Anzhi are off to a bad start and languishing 13th in the Russian league table, with little hope of glory this, or next, season.

However, if you dig a bit deeper, the Russian media is reporting several interesting aspects to this break up.

Suleiman Kerimov in happier times

Russian media is reporting openly that Kerimov experienced ‘stress-related health problems’ after watching Anzhi’s ugly 1-0 home defeat to Rostov on Friday and after that pulled the trigger on changes he had undoubtedly considered previously. Other Russian news entities are reporting that Kerimov suffered huge financial losses from last week’s plunge in the share price of the Uralkali Russian potash producer in which he is a main shareholder.

Isn’t it just great when a football club’s future is tied to the share price of Uralkali Russian potash?

The club itself in a blatant attempt to save face are saying that these budget changes have been made necessary by Uefa's financial fair play regulations. If in doubt, blame a French man, eh (Platini in this case)?

Where does all this carnage leave Anzhi, their players and their fans?

Right back where they started, would appear to be the answer to that question. One thing is certain. This muddle has left the transfer market with one hell of a late-flurry type shopping list of suddenly available players.

Feast your eyes, you can bet managers in the Premier League, La Liga, The Bundesliga and all over the World are doing just that.

• Willian - 30 million euros
• Samuel Eto 'O - 22 million euros
• Igor Denisov - 16 million euros
• Lacina Traore - 16 million euros
• Alexander Kokorin - 15 million euros
• Lassana Diarra - 14 million euros
• Mubarak Bussufa - 14 million euros
• Christopher Samba - 11 million euros
• Zhusiley - 11 million euros
• Yuri Zhirkov - 11 million euros
• Vladimir Gabulov - 6.5 million euros

Sources:
Russian media:
Official club site:
The Guardian:
NDTV sports:
BBC sports:

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Irish soccer legend Damien Duff visits Irish troops in the Lebanon

Some professional athletes talk a big game. Others put their money where their mouth is.

While we go about our normal lives, worrying about paying the bills, what we are going to have for dinner and what’s on TV later, there are currently over 330 Irish soldiers serving in the Lebanon as part of the strong UN remit in that country, keeping the peace in a time of great stress for the region. It is an incredibly dangerous task, and tragically, 47 Irish soldiers have died defending the peace in South Lebanon. All the while the fear remains that the problems in neighbouring Syria could explode across the border. It is a tense time to be a UN peace keeper based in the region.

This brings us to Damien Duff, or ‘The Duffer’

The veteran Irish soccer star could have stayed at home, licking his wounds after the disastrous Irish European Championships campaign. He could have zipped off somewhere hot and sunny and hit the golf links, or collapsed by the pool. Instead, The Duffer chose to make a difficult, dangerous trip to Beirut, and subsequently on to the Lebanon. He has gone to help lift the spirits of the Irish force there, and will no doubt offer them stories from his Irish team and Premiership exploits in his colourful, successful career. Duff also paid his respects the memory of the 47 Irish men who died in the name of peace.

It is a fantastic, unselfish gesture from a clearly level headed and thoughtful man. The 33 year old Irish star will spend three days with the Battalion, and apart from meeting and spending time with the troops, he is also scheduled to visit a local orphanage.

Professional sports can be a depressing entity at time. Having to listen to the likes of morons like Dwight Howard procrastinate as to what team he wants to pay him millions of dollars to play basketball next season, while holding the NBA loving city of Orlando to hostage, is very unappealing. The same goes for Carlos Lee, the bloated Houston Astros slugger with his similarly bloated $100 million contract. We really need to read endless stories about what team he refuses to be traded to, seriously?

Modern professional sports can be an ugly creature. Thankfully there are still characters as strong and honourable as Damien Duff. His heart warming decision to visit his countrymen in the Lebanon is an example to us all.

It also makes your heart burst with pride to be Irish.

Hopefully Duff and the boys in green enjoy his visit to the utmost.

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Why Italy can beat Spain and win the UEFA 2012 European Championships

First to the full disclosure. This column is a gigantic fan of Spanish soccer. Except for a hard to explain, forlorn love for Sunderland, the sometimes Premiership English club, the Spanish La Liga takes precedence in terms of weekend soccer on this column's TV. They just make it look so pretty, don't they? Barcelona, Real Madrid, Athletic Bilbao and even Raya Vallecano. They play the beautiful game like the beautiful game should be played. Beautifully.

We could babble on about how much respect we have for the Spanish game, but as always, money talks. If someone handed this column one million euros, dollars or pounds sterling and said, 'You can have this, but you have to bet it on who is going to win the European Championships' basically, it would be going on the Italians.

Here's why. 

In many of the great sports we love, it is crucial to be 'strong up the middle'. For example, in baseball you need a good catcher, pitcher, short-stop and center fielder to be a decent club. Italy are like a rock up the middle. Buffon, their goalkeeper, is playing better than any other net minder in the world right now. He has kept Italy in some games, providing a calming, veteran experience that other teams just don't have. He has completely dominated at time. For goodness sake, the guy has the cosmopolitan confidence to keep his hair out of his eyes with feminine bobby-pins! The Italian center backs, Balzaretti and Barzagli, may sound like sports cars, but they are absolute rocks at the heart of the Italian defence. Their tackling, heading and overall decision making has been simply superb. 

Then there is Andrea Pirlo in the middle of the park. Pirlo is hands down the best player of the tournament at this point, bar none. He has completely bossed the two most recent Italian games, against Germany and also England, and his unbelievably cheeky penalty in the latter match quite literally changed the tide of momentum within same. 

Then there is Super Mario. Balotelli is every coaches worst nightmare. There is quite literally no way of telling which Mario will turn up, Super Mario, or Mario the monster. Luckily for Italy, in this tournament, it has more often been the former. He scored an absolute belter against Ireland, and then tonight scored two crackers against Germany for good measure. If he keeps this up he may actually challenge Pirlo for the player of the tournament title.

Apart from being strong up the middle, Italy have an undeniable air of destiny hovering over them like an angel guiding them to their destiny. Before this tournament started legions of sports writers wrote them off, largely because there are serious accusations against some of the peripheral players in the Italian squads of gambling on soccer. Those investigations are ongoing, and the common thought was that this stress and tension would rip Italy apart from the inside.

So much for that theory. 

Finally, there is the Hunt For Red October factor. In the oddly watchable and re-watchable movie, Hunt For, a Russian submarine commander sinks his own submarine because of a ridiculous set of orders that backfire horribly. His exasperated second in command, as the torpedo homes in on their boat, whines, 'Kommandant, your arrogance has got us all killed!'. Well the Spanish manager Vicente del Bosque is the Russian submarine commander of the good ship Espana. He is quite literally tempting fate with some audacious, head scratching tactical decisions, including playing without a striker on multiple occasions. Now, say what you want about Fernando Torres and his abysmal lack of form, but the 'other' Fernando, Llorente, is a man on fire this season, and yet the magnificent Athletic Bilbao striker rots on the Spanish bench like out of data tapas.

Vicente del Bosque isn't as much tempting fate as he is pulling down his pants to moon it full on. Should he dare to face the Italians without a striker, we may be in for an absolute stinker of a match as the tiny Spanish midfielders run around in pointless circles like five tiny ants trying to scale the walls of a medieval castle.

The Spanish manager, and his team, have been basically begging to be beaten all tournament long. They squeaked through against Portugal on penalties, and apart from a serious shallacking of hapless Ireland, have not looked like the greatest team in the world. Instead they have looked like a collection of the greatest players in the world forced into unusual systems that haven't fully come off.

Italy are currently 14/5 to beat Spain on Sunday night. Perhaps a better bet is the 6/4 the Italians lifting the trophy. Can't you just see Italy scraping past the Spanish in a dramatic penalty shoot-out, Buffon making a couple of dramatic saves on route to destiny?

Just remember, you heard it here first.

Viva Italia!

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Andrea Pirlo cheekily chips Italy past England

One of the main reasons we watch sports is that every now and then an athlete does something amazing. Every so often an athlete does something so spectacular that we remember where we were watching it, we remember the surrounding circumstances, for a very long time. Well, tonight, Italy's Andrea Pirlo pulled off one of those stunts.

To set the scene, Italy were facing England in the European Championship quarter finals, and the Italians had attacked all match long but couldn't get passed the massed ranks of English defenders, the latter having decided to adopt distasteful 'park the bus (in front of the goal)' tactics. As first normal time and then extra time fizzled out slowly, England were clearly playing for penalties.

What is it they say, be careful what you wish for?

In the penalty shoot-out England grabbed the early momentum via the unfortunate Montolivio, who slashed his shot wide. Suddenly Italy were staring at the abyss. England scored their next penalty, and if Pirlo, Italy's next penalty taker, had missed, well the Italians were in deep carbonara.

Then Pirlo stepped forward to take his turn, and this happened.

Pirlo's incredibly cheeky penalty can be looked at simply as the artistic touch of an entertainer at heart. However, this column believes Pirlo was actually making a bigger statement. With his decision to go with flair and panache, it was if Pirlo was showing his team-mates not to fear the penalty shoot-out. He was treating it with a measured disdain, but not out of disrespect, instead in an attempt to both crush the hearts of the English, and lift the hearts of his Italians.

Pirlo grabbed the momentum of the shoot-out and his team-mates refused to hand it back to the English. His audacious chip shot quite literally changed the course of the shoot-out, the game and the quarter final.

There is no doubt the 'right' team progressed on the night.

England offered absolutely nothing to the entertainment value of the match, and this is emphasized dramatically by the shooting statistics, Italy finishing with 36 shots to England's relatively pathetic 9.

There was only one 'just' outcome in this match, and thanks to Andrea Pirlo's fantastically cheeky penalty, justice came out on top on the night.

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Zlatan Ibrahimovic may have scored the best goal of Euro 2012: VIDEO

The group stages of Euro 2012 finished tonight, as England 'beat' the Ukraine 1-0 (we all saw that ball cross the line, FIFA and UEFA better stick their heads in the sand again!) and Sweden stunned France 2-0. In the relatively meaningless latter game (Sweden were out no matter what), Zlatan Ibrahimovic may have scored the goal of the tournament.

Judge for yourself, but his beautiful, crisp volley, executed at speed with the clinical precision of an assassin, might be hard to top.






Whatever about the goal itself, the marvelous commentary is worth hearing on its own. Any commentator that excitedly yells 'Abracababra Sweden!' is OK with this column.

Of course, he will have to do this a few times to come close to topping the all time greatest European Championships goal, and one of the greatest goals ever scored. Step forward, Mr. Marco Van Basten.



Hard to see anyone topping that, however we do have a fabulous knock out round to look forward to, and as 'Ibracadabra' showed tonight for Sweden, anything is possible!

Isn't this just one of the greatest tournaments you have ever seen?

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Irish fans sing The Fields of Athenry, Spain v Ireland Euro 2012: VIDEO

So tonight Ireland's Euro 2012 effectively came to an end. Sure we still have to play Italy, and who would bet against the Irish playing out of their skins and causing a huge upset, this team has a lot of pride and will want to go out on a high, not just for themselves but for their loyal fans too. Tonight however they ran up against possibly the greatest team in the world in the Spanish, and the result was a predictable 0-4 trashing.

Bizarrely, what most will remember from the match will be the absolutely incredible display of support the magnificent travelling Irish fans showed, as the clock ticked down first to 90 minutes and then through the last three minutes of added time. With the match dying out, the masses of Irish fans ripped out a six minute long, stirring rendition of 'The fields of Athenry'. Several TV shows (I hear German, Dutch and even Spanish) deliberately didn't speak over the singing to allow their viewers experience it properly.

There are going to be plenty of cynics who try and bring this wonderful little moment down, but just ignore them. Crank up the volume, sit back and enjoy the 6 minutes video from German TV below. This is just a wonderfully unusual moment in sports, a moment of goodwill, kindness, passion and loyalty.

Enjoy it for what it is. Support, in the truest sense of the word. No Nazi banners, no bananas thrown on the pitch, no angry, hateful chants. Just pride and passion, displayed in a dignified, moving way by literally thousands of Irish who refused to let the score get in the way of their support for their boys.

We live in what can be a nasty, brutish world, it is heart warming every now and then to find an oasis of goodwill and humanity.  Low lie, the fields of Athenry..

Update - Friday15th June
The morning after

So UEFA have forced YouTube to take the original video in all its brilliance down. Congratulations to UEFA for trying to stop people enjoying a wonderful sporting moment. Brilliant minds at work in there obviously. Fear not. We have trawled the web and come up with the below alternatives.

This is a simple, short one with excellent audio.




Another short, grainy one that nonetheless has superb audio. Notice this is well after the match has finished and the Irish are still singing!


Finally, a top notch video and audio rendition, however I am not confident UEFA won't swoop on this one also.



There we go. Big Brother can go take a hike. We will make sure a working video of the amazing Irish supporters stays up on this come hell or high water! Enjoy.


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Ireland and the Boston Celtics lose, but their fans come out winners

It is going to take a while to shower the clingy, sticky mucus that was the sporting weekend just past off. For fans of the Irish soccer team and fans of the Boston Celtics (and indeed fans of both like myself!) Monday morning is depressing to an extra factor of twenty after the brutal results Saturday and Sunday night. Don't even talk to me about the Red Sox.

The Celtics, injury ravaged to an unbelievable degree, teased us with an early ten point lead, only to tire and get worn down with the ridiculous LeBron precession to the free throw line, finally succumbing to the abhorrent Heat and their Nuremberg Rally like fans (Note to Miami: Big rallies where everyone dresses the exact same, and chants to pre-arranged material handed down from 'the authorities' has been done before, and is pretty creepy). Ireland? What can you say about Ireland? Well, I had this to say about them last week in my Irish Central column;

''There are some in Ireland suggesting this Irish team might unite the country much like the Jackie Charlton led teams and indeed the Mick McCarthy World Cup team did in years previous. Largely fueled by greedy companies trying to cash in on merchandising and such, Ireland is being led down a blind alley of false hope in the inevitably doomed belief it might win a match or two and qualify for the next round. A huge dose of realism is well overdue. Glenn Whelan in midfield? This might be the single worst quality team to qualify for a European Championship in the last decade. Having said all that, Ireland's undoubted grit and determination, and wonderful, colourful and positive fans (the single greatest traveling fans, bar none, in all sports) will bring something to the tournament, even if Ireland don’t score in any of the three matches.''

Now, in light of the unbelievably poor showing against Croatia, we don't want to get all Brian Griffin on you, however, it must be noted, we did tell you so!

However, the 'lost weekend' of sports wasn't without a couple of dignified, heart warming aspects to it. First to the incredible Irish soccer fans who have traveled to Eastern Europe to follow their team. It is important not to just nod your head and mumble 'yeah I know, they are great'. What we are seeing unfold in front of us is one of the greatest displays of support ever seen in soccer and maybe in sports as a whole.

Think about it for a second.

Despite a knee-buckling recession in their homeland, Irish fans have thrown caution to the wind and flocked en-masse to follow a team that includes such luminaries as Keith Andrews, Simon Cox and, yes, him, Glenn Whelan.

They not only deserve our adulation, they deserve a medal! UEFA release some incredible figures last week, as it turns out, Irish soccer fans bought up 35,000 tickets to the finals. By comparison, English soccer fans bought a miserly 15,000. That gives you some idea how passionately the Irish support their team.

The fans in green are being recognised around the world for their magnificent support. Take for example this comment from The Guardian;

''The remarkable Irish supporters had scarcely been cowed even by the disturbing start. Those fans made such an impression in noise and number as the match began that they might have been mistaken for followers of a host nation.''

Even better yet, the Irish fans are doing it all with a smile on their faces. First here...

...and then, a little inside, I know, but this is a cracker

Now to the Celtics fans, and their incredible display of support as Game 6 slowly phased itself out to a close. At first glance this below footage may not look like much, but then consider the context, Boston had just been beaten up by LeBron and the Heat, on their home court. Consider the likelihood that this was probably (and as it turned out, most likely) the last time these fans would see these players together as a unit.

Then consider the sheer volume and passion of the 'Let's go Celtics' chant that hovers in the air for a full four minutes as the game fades away slowly to zero seconds.





You can see LeBron and his cohorts chuckling away to each other as the game dies out, however we all know full well they were thinking 'I wonder is this how Miami fans would react?' 

For me, this amazing display of passion from the Boston Celtics fans was a dignified and heart warming 'thank you' to the big three in particular. Everyone knows the team will probably be blown up this off-season, and Celtics fans have loved every second of cheering for Ray Allen, Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce and their team mates.

Despite being down and beaten on the night by Miami, the look on the faces of Allen, KG and Pierce is one of incredible dignity and thankfulness to have played in front of such a basketball-knowledgeable  and passionate crowd. That thankfulness is repaid in full by the Bostonians in attendance on the night.

Terrible sporting weekend, however the memory of the incredible Celtics fans, and the colourful, passionate and gregarious Ireland fans will live on way longer than the score of any game.

Let's go Celtics. Come on Ireland.

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2012 European Championships cheat sheet - Group C

As you must surely know by now, soccer's less glamorous and yet possibly technically superior second biggest tournament starts on the 8th June. Just around the corner. This 2012 European Championships cheat sheet? So what's this all about, you might ask. Simple. What we're doing here is taking a team from the upcoming European Championships and equating them with a team from American sports, just to give, in particular, our American users a better idea of what to expect from teams in the Euros.

Over the next few nights we will be knocking these out, group by group, like Justin Verlander racks up strikeouts. Tonight we turn to Group C.

Let's chop it up.


Group C 

Spain 
For Spain, you can quite simply equate them to the 2002/2004 era New England Patriots. Yes, they are that dominant. Xavi and Inniesta mould into one Spanish version of Tom Brady, whilst Pique and Puyol can play Bruschi and Vrabel. Spain won the last World Cup, and the European Championships is there for them to take, if they want it bad enough. We could be witnessing a period of dominance as good as if not better than the incredible Patriots team of 2002-2004. No side has ever won back to back European Championships whilst being holders of the World Cup, but Spain might be just about to do exactly that.

Italy 
 In direct comparison, Italy may well prove to be the Indianapolis Colts of the 2002/2004 era. If you recall, the Colts were heavy favourites both to beat the Patriots and to win the Superbowl during that timeframe, but instead fell flat on their face. Italy, for some bizarre reason, are still being touted by some as potential tournament winners. Perhaps those who are coming out with this drivel forget the Paper Tiger Italians failed to beat Slovakia and New Zealand in the 2010 World Cup and crashed out at the group stages. Italian football in is turmoil, amid allegations of max fixing at its highest levels. Still, some still think Italy can win this thing. They are in for a shock when Andrea Pirlo breaks out his best Peyton Manning face, upon the occasion of their inevitable demise.

Croatia 
The Butler 2010/2011 NCAA Basketball team. The dark horses of the tournament. They have actually taken the description for ‘Dark Horse; out of the dictionary and just replaced it with a team photo of Croatia. They are the poster boys of the phrase. Well, them and Butler. Much like Butler before them, Croatia are a team low on star-name-power but high on team work and discipline. They are extremely well coached by former Croatian great Slaven Bilić and have plenty of young talent to see them past Ireland and Italy (maybe not the Spanish, though) which would see them qualify from the group. Croatia are the real deal. You just don’t hear much about them. They are, like Butler, a true dark horse.

Ireland 
There are some in Ireland suggesting this Irish team might unite the country much like the Jackie Charlton led teams and indeed the Mick McCarthy World Cup team did in years previous. Largely fuelled by greedy companies trying to cash in on merchandising and such, Ireland is being led down a blind alley of false hope in the inevitably doomed belief it might win a match or two and qualify for the next round. A huge dose of realism is well overdue. Glenn Whelan in midfield? This might be the single worst quality team to qualify for a European Championship in the last decade. Having said all that, Irelands undoubted grit and determination, and wonderful, colourful and positive fans (the single greatest travelling fans, bar none, in all sports) will bring something to the tournament, even if Ireland don’t score in any of the three matches. So, for Ireland, read the Oakland Raiders. A pretty useless team, that isn’t going to win anything, but people will end up talking about their fans.

Tune in tomorrow evening for Group C!




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2012 European Championships cheat sheet - Group B

As you must surely know by now, soccer's less glamorous and yet possibly technically superior second biggest tournament starts on the 8th June. Just around the corner. This 2012 European Championships cheat sheet? So what's this all about, you might ask. Simple. What we're doing here is taking a team from the upcoming European Championships and equating them with a team from American sports, just to give, in particular, our American users a better idea of what to expect from teams in the Euros.

Over the next few nights we will be knocking these out, group by group, like the referees calling technicals on the Celtics last night.

Let's chop it up.

Group B

Germany 
Ah yes, the Germans. Or, for our purposes, The 2012 New York Yankees. It is almost too easy to equate the Germans with the Yankees. They have expensive, talented and high profile players all over the park and their history in major tournaments is second to none. The Germans come into the tournament expecting to win, the Yankees go into every season expecting to win. Much like the Yankees, the Germans should be there or thereabouts come tournament end, their high profile, vast talent supplies and fanatical fan base simply demands it. But wait just eine moment bitte, are we talking about the Yankees or the Germans in that last sentence? Could be either, right?!

Netherlands 
Robin van Persie and the Dutch are taking their talents to Poland this summer, and they are very much alike the ‘Big three’ era Miami Heat. Robin van Persie is played by LeBron James, and the out of form, hobbled Wesley Sneijder is of course played by Chris Bosh. The Dutch have some very high level talent, particularly in the form of Van Persie, however the sum of all their parts might not be enough to win the tournament, much like Miami. The Dutch continuously flatter to deceive, time after time they look primed to win, only to fall flat, and that’s almost exactly like the Heat. There is every chance Robin van Persie will, like LeBron, have the pundits drooling salaciously over his every move. Yet, there is also every chance both gentlemen will ultimately come up short.

Portugal 
There is no doubting the Portuguese prowess in attack, the problem lies in defence, where Portugal struggle to keep even the most inept sides from scoring on them. The one thing you can take to the bank when it comes to Portugal is they will field the greatest player in the tournament. Cristiano Ronaldo has no Lionel Messi to worry about (Argentina’s late application to become part of Europe in time for the tournament was roundly rejected) and the tournament is sitting there waiting for him to conquer it. He really is head and shoulders above the rest, which makes Portugal the Michael Jordan era Chicago Bulls. Like Jordan, on his day, in this tournament without Messi around stealing the spotlight, Ronaldo simply has no peer. He is, like Jordan, probably the one player who could win this tournament on his own.

Denmark 
Massive outsiders, largely written off before the tournament kicks off, the Danes do however have some very talented players and a superb team ethic. Much like the 2003/2004 Boston Red Sox teams. The super talented and quite possible insane Nicky Bendtner is played by Johnny Damon with a hint of Kevin Millar. Bendtner will be ably accompanied by twenty year-old Ajax starlet Christian Eriksen. In a small tournament (just 16 teams), on their day, anything can happen with this talented group.Whether, like the Red Sox,  it ends bad (2003) or good (2004) remains to be seen!

Tune in tomorrow evening for Group C!




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2012 European Championships cheat sheet - Group A

As you may or may not know, soccer's less glamorous and yet possibly technically superior second biggest tournament starts on the 8th June. Just around the corner. This 2012 European Championships cheat sheet? So what's this all about, you might ask. Simple. What we're doing here is taking a team from the upcoming European Championships and equating them with a team from American sports, just to give, in particular, our American users a better idea of what to expect from teams in the Euros.

Over the next few nights we will be knocking these out, group by group, like Josh Hamilton loses balls in the bleachers.

Let's chop it up.

Group A

Poland
For Poland, we present for your approval, The 2012 Utah Jazz. Poland, like Utah, back-doored it into the Championships. Utah were the bottom seed West of the NBA, Poland are one of the lowest FIFA ranked teams ever to 'make' the tournament. We say 'make' as Poland are only in it because they got a free pass as hosts. Utah, like Poland will, played in front of boisterous home crowds, there was no doubt, and there will be no doubt, about the passion of the home fans. The problem for Utah was they just weren't very good, and the problem for Poland will be very similar. Utah went 0-4, and Poland will probably get pretty close to that.

Greece
For Greece, we have the 2012 Detroit Tigers. Greece carry the weight of their entire nation on their shoulders, much like the Tigers have come to be the torch bearers for their economically depressed city of name. A good tournament for the Greeks would mean a huge lift for the nation, much as a good playoff run for the Tigers would mean a big lift for the city of Detroit. Much like the Tigers, Greece are also no mugs. Greece topped their qualifying group and were undefeated in the process; notching victories over Israel and group favorites Croatia. The Greeks may not play the prettiest football (and Detroit have been known to kick the baseball around a little during the playoffs) but it is hard not to root for them to lift the depression hanging over their home nation. Much like very few of us would begrudge the Tigers a deep playoff run a little later this year.

Russia
Mother Russia is something of a dark horse coming into the tournament. Much like the underdog '96/'97 New England Patriots, the Russian team has plenty of talent in its ranks, but are largely unfancied pre-tournament. For example, the Patriots had Drew Bledsoe, Russia have the potential match winner but ultimately flawed Andrey Arshavin.

The big problem for Russia, much as it was for the Patriots, is their head coach's head may be somewhere else. Many think that Patriots team was undone by Bill Parcell's itchy feet, and Russia's coach, Dick Advocaat, is moving on when the tournament ends. How focused will he be? There is no way to tell, but the precedent is not good.

Czech Republic
The Czechs are hoping their disciplined play, well marshaled defence and superior goalkeeper can catapult them out of Group A and deep into the tournament proper, You could say the Czechs defence has to over come their attacks frailties, much like the 2000 Baltimore Ravens. The Ravens are the perfect choice, as they were a great defence, but by no means the best of all time (The Vikings, Bears and Steelers various greats will always be better, despite Ray Lewis's enormous mouth and ability to put out hits). The Czech;s defence is great, but not GREAT.  Unlike the Ravens, the Czechs probably aren't going to win anything, no matter how many penalties Peter Cech saves.

Tune in tomorrow evening for Group B!




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